My talk
for the Harry Potter Conference in Chestnut Hill, October 2015 Part One
I gave this talk several years ago and then moved to another country. (Those two things were not connected.) Consequently, I have yet to finish transcribing my notes into an understandable written text.
You are sitting in a small classroom on an upper floor of St
Joseph Hall at Chestnut Hill College. You have ducked in just now to
grab a seat in the high-ceilinged old-school classroom. You set your bag
on the sill of the soaring, arched window that looks out on the green walks and
trees of the grounds.
In sweeps a woman in a witch's hat and swirling black robe. She plunks a
stack of books down, whips out a wand and smacks the lectern, booming,
"Wands away!"
"Class, open your copy of 'Defence Against the Dark
Arts for Muggles' and turn to Chapter One!"
"Let me introduce myself. I am Professor Alison
Longstaff, and I have been invited here to teach you Defence Against the
Dark for Muggles in accordance with the new era of cooperation
between the magical and non-magical populations."
"I am also known as Alison Smith Longstaff, raised not 20 minutes from
here in Huntingdon Valley, PA. I have lived most of my adult life in
Ontario, Canada, though for the past two years I have been the pastor of a
small church in Bath, Maine.
"I am an ordained Swedenborgian minister— a minute and obscure Christian
denomination, which, although incredibly small, has split three times
(at least) on this continent.
"I am also a trained therapist, a mother, a writer, and
a published author.
"I care about this topic as a therapist and as a pastor
and as a human being who has had to face the darkness."
"I know what it feels like to be marginalized, because
I have been bullied, because I am a woman and because I felt called to
ministry in a sect that says women are not capable of being ministers."
"If I were a character in the Harry Potter world, I would
be somewhere between Luna Lovegood and Tonks, with a little bit of Dumbledore
thrown in for good measure. I am also Harry, as we all are.
And now for today's lesson.
The Dark Arts are REAL. If you have ever suffered,
you know the darkness is very real. It can often feel far more powerful than we
can withstand.
There are many parallels between the "dark arts"
in Rowling's world and the mental and emotional anguish we experience in
regular life. Whether we are dealing with anxiety or depression, bullying or
blocks, childhood traumas or low self-esteem, the tools for battling the
darkness in the Harry Potter universe map beautifully onto the many skills and
tools available to "muggles" in the non-magical world.
Muggles absolutely can learn skills, which work like magic,
in battling the dark energies that attack us in our personal lives.
Let's take a look:
Coming to us straight from Harry Potter's life and
experience is the number one rule to remember:
#1 Fear and despair make the
attacks worse. LOVE and BELONGING beat the darkness back.
Try to remember that you are never alone. There is always a Dobby or
Hermione or a shard of mirror connected to a presence ready to help you, even
when it seems like your usual resources have fled or turned their backs.
Ask for help, and don't stop asking until you get it. Remember that
you are worthy of love and belonging ALWAYS. ALWAYS. Be your own
ally FIRST. Harry struggled more when he forgot to get help from his
friends. Voldemort was defeated only by the uniting of many against him.
We need each other. There is nothing weak in asking for the help of
friends.
“Words are, in my not-so-humble opinion, our most inexhaustible source of
magic, capable of both inflicting injury, and remedying it.” Albus
Dumbledore, in J. K. Rowling's Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
The power of words, point 1: Swear words
Swear words are words that our culture has decided have extra power. We are trained from a very young age to know what words we can say and what we are not allowed to say. We have been trained to be upset by certain words. But this is culture or fashion. The words themselves have only the power we have been taught that they have.
If
someone swore at you in a foreign language you would have no idea what they
were saying. The words would have no power
because they would have no meaning attached to them. The sounds themselves hold
no power. And if meaning can be attached to a series of sounds, it can be
unattached. Swear words only upset us because we have been programmed to
be upset. Even English speaking countries don't agree on what a swear
word is. For example, "bugger" carries little energy in North
America, but you don't want say it loudly or often in England, South Africa, or
Australia.
What wisdom can we draw from this realization?
We can reclaim a lot of power by
working with the meaning we attach to words. Like all magic, it takes
practice to get good at having power over the words others use against us.
Just keep remembering that it is possible to develop the power, with
practice, to turn the power of words to our side. "Names can never
hurt us" if we practice having power over the words that get
thrown at us.
Do I call myself names? Rather, is there an internalized
Snape always mocking and finding fault inside my mind? How would I feel
if someone was saying the sort of unkind things I think about myself to someone
I love and cherish? If I would never treat a dear friend to those words
and thoughts, why do I allow them voice in my own heart and mind? Once I decide
I want to speak more compassionately to myself, I can begin to do so. Our
inner thoughts have more power than we realize, and it is possible to unplug
the negative "feed" and plug into a more positive inner dialogue,
which increases our power for good in the world as well.
The power of words, point 2: Pep talks and self-talk
The words we tell ourselves, and especially the words we
believe deep inside (often unconsciously) affect us profoundly. When we
understand that, we can begin to pay attention to the "spells" we
cast on ourselves and on others. And once we begin to pay attention, we can
begin to "practice casting good spells" --- the spells we truly want
in our lives.
Luna Lovegood was steadily under a barrage of name-calling,
exclusion, and contempt. How powerful was her magic that she never let
this eat away at her peace of mind? The group conversation had no power
over her. She had a deep magic that way. What does it take to
shift negative inner paradigms and heal them? It is all in the
story we tell ourselves.
Luna never saw herself as a victim. She never gave away
her power to the group by needing their approval. Her inner self-talk and
inner paradigm were stronger than the voices around her. She knew she was
loved. She knew she would be okay. And she believed what she
believed despite raised eyebrows, contempt, and mockery.
Any good sports coach readies a team for a game by means of a "pep talk." The sole purpose of the pep-talk is to change the inner narrative of the players---to wipe away fear and distraction, and bring all the focus and intention on playing their best. A truly great pep-talk can give an "average" team the inspiration to triumph over their toughest adversary.
Do you want to use the words you put into the world to inspire and encourage, uplift and empower? Or do you want to undermine and discourage? Nobody who has achieved seemingly impossible things allowed beliefs like, "I can't," or "It is impossible," to have power over them.
Every negative story we believe: "I am stupid,"
"No one likes me," "I am incompetent," "Others are out
to get me," "I can't ever achieve my dreams," "I am a
failure," "_Fill in the blank_", limits what we can do in
life and how much of a gift we can be in the world. That doesn't make us
wrong, it makes us human. It means we have a lot of practicing to do to
get auror-strong at defending against the darkness. You got this!
The power of words, point 3: Rhetoric, spin, and
political speech-writers
There is a lot of wisdom in how to use the power of words in
what speech-writers study---the power of rhetoric. When we can spot the
tools another is using to persuade us or change our thinking, we can deflect
and parry their arguments. We can choose whether we want to be persuaded
rather than be swept along by the power of their created aura.
It is far more powerful to listen to an argument and be able
to say, "That is a false either/or dichotomy," than simply feel
frustrated by a statement such as, "Do you want freedom or do you
want the country to be overrun by Mexicans!?"
When one spots the weakness in the narrative, one no longer
needs to be pulled into a waste-of-time argument.
We can find tremendous power and freedom in learning the
bait-and-switch tools workers-with-words use to waste our time and distract us
from more important issues.
All aurors must do advanced studies in
rhetoric---particularly in parrying logical fallacies. If you want more
power over the words used against you, begin to study, and keep on
studying LogicalFallacies.
Part two of this talk is coming soon. Until then, practice wisely!
I chose to wear a sari, because I wanted something beautiful, feminine, and inexpensive. I loved the colours and sparkliness of the fabric, but mostly I love the man I married!
How do I say what my heart truly
wants to say? I miss the young faith I
had in my twenties with all its shiny simplicity.
I miss many trappings of my childhood faith---all the artistry and music. I miss having a true spiritual home. Where do I find the art and beauty and deep thought of my childhood faith MARRIED TO the broadness of thought and inclusivity of spirit that feels like spiritual home to me? 
I also await the arrival of a new family member! Daughter Eden is expecting in mid-January. I hope to be present for the birth, or at least around to help out when the little one is new! 
