Thursday, December 29, 2016

AliSam's 2016

Dearest friends and family and random wanderers-by,       Dec 2016

(If you want some beautiful music playing in the background while you read, click this link for Sara Bareilles and Ingrid Michaelson's) Winter Song

It was the worst of years; it was the best of years. 
It started with seven months of unemployment.
It cleared the way for whole new beginnings.
It was the year we got trumped.
It was the year of ALISAM.

In January 2016 Sam Moore came to Canada and presented me with a “pirate ring” which was a ring his mother had custom made to include several heirloom gems.  It is a hefty ring, so I wear it on a chain around my neck. (And since the election, I have been wondering if I need to go throw it in a volcano somewhere.  I hope not.  I am kinda attached to it.  It is precious to me.) (And I said, "Yes!")


Then on June 1st, after Sam’s roommate had moved out, Sam helped me move into Sam’s already full 5th floor walk-up in Chelsea, Manhattan. I had to release 90% of my worldly goods to do so - a chore that was more difficult than I expected.  And I am even a trained clutter-clearer!

In July I got hired at Starbucks, and began a whole new learning curve about the food service industry, and low-paying, hourly rate work.  I enjoy the job most of the time, loving the hospitality and human interactions and crafting truly pretty drinks.  I enjoy the friends who drop by, and occasionally meeting a patient and kind celebrity who lets me get a picture. (This is Zachary Quinto, who plays Spock in the New Star Trek series.)

I don’t enjoy the workplace politics (does anyone?) or the difficulty in getting enough hours, but it is a JOB.  It helps me pay the rent while I look for something better suited to my training and skills.

And on October 1st, Sam and I became husband and wife! Pictures are still pending, but my brother, Gordon, captured a simple video of the ceremony HERE (ceremony), and took several pictures HERE (photos).  My son, Jordan, performed Ben Folds’ “The Luckiest” as our recessional which was also the song that was playing when Sam proposed.  It was a happy day, in an amazing setting (decorated by Liz Kufs), and followed by a packed reception at the home of dear friends Paul and Beryl Simonetti.  Flying pigs was a main theme because of the odds of Sam and I finding each other again after all these years.

I chose to wear a sari, because I wanted something beautiful, feminine, and inexpensive.  I loved the colours and sparkliness of the fabric, but mostly I love the man I married!

Life is not perfect, but it is full of hope and joy and love.  Like many couples in North America, Sam and I have debts that need paying down. I am struggling to find a living wage, and still hope to work in my areas of expertise again. I remain a passionate pastor without a church.  I remain a writer who is blocked, pursuing ways to get past the block. 

How do I say what my heart truly wants to say?  I miss the young faith I had in my twenties with all its shiny simplicity.  I miss many trappings of my childhood faith---all the artistry and music. I miss having a true spiritual home. Where do I find the art and beauty and deep thought of my childhood faith MARRIED TO the broadness of thought and inclusivity of spirit that feels like spiritual home to me?  

I will keep searching.  Maybe one day, I will find it, or help build it.  I only know I can't do it alone.
  
The Christian Cross symbolizes a faith that is both broad and deep. It symbolizes the intersecting of the Divine with creation.  The center of the cross represents the very point of intersection---that place and that moment when the Divine enters our mortal reality.  It happens at different times for each of us, and in different ways.  The birth of Jesus is the great metaphor for this incarnation---a profound awakening in our hearts and minds which transforms our way of being in the world and in relationship.

It certainly takes a lot of work for the Divine Love and Life to find a home and a place of rest in our limited, blinded, and crippled mortality.  It can feel like the process is excruciatingly difficult sometimes.  It can seem as though the darkness will indeed extinguish all the tender goodness that seeks to live in the world.  But a handful of shepherds and a peasant girl can do what armies could not.  That means you and I, with our handful of small gifts and simple willingness to focus on compassion and courage and love are all that is needed to hold the space for the birth.  It happens at the darkest times when there is no room at all in humankind.

Doing our personal spiritual work is the ONLY way to bring heaven on earth.  So I plod on through times of spiritual drought and keep believing that times of bounty will come again.  I push back again and again when the cruelty and injustice seek to tell me that there is no point in trying to make a home for goodness.  Despite it all I have set up my manger---a space for creativity and rest and meditation; and I await the arrival of the new light and new calling.

I also await the arrival of a new family member!  Daughter Eden is expecting in mid-January.  I hope to be present for the birth, or at least around to help out when the little one is new!  

Sam and I are happy to be together.  I feel newly grateful every day.  We are blessed in each other, in our families, and in our friends.

Wishing you light in this time of darkness; warmth in this time of cold; and safe havens in this time of chaos.
All our love, 
Alison and Sam