The Union of Effort and Ease

The Union of Effort and Ease

For the past several months I have been job hunting.

Job hunting in New York City as a 54-year-old woman has been a lesson in powerlessness.

My first full day in New York I had an interview that went very well, and by the evening I was offered the job!  I brushed my hands together and thought, "Lucky me!  Mission accomplished! Where is that Staples Easy button?"

However, three weeks later I still had no communication from that employer, and after pursuit I found out that I wasn't hired after all, because that manager "had been told she wasn't allowed to hire anyone."  (I'm not sure what was going on there.  Weird.)

Fortunately I had continued sending out resumes, and did get other interviews, but nothing has resulted in a job.

So I got proactive, and started introducing myself to all the managers of the local Starbucks.  I learned their names and let them know I was wanting to work for them and to look for my name in the bank of resumes on the Starbucks hiring site.  This seemed to be greeted with enthusiasm and curiosity, which gave me hope.  I made sure my resume was fully updated and refreshed.

But ultimately, I was powerless.  Once I had done everything I could reasonably do, the rest had to be surrendered to the whims of chance.  This was made especially clear to me when, upon checking back in, the various managers all told me that my profile was "locked."  Apparently the original manager (that said I was hired my second day in the city) not only didn't have a job for me, she hadn't released my profile back into the Starbucks hiring pool.  She had made it impossible for any other Starbucks to hire me either!

I experienced a profound sense of helplessness when I heard that news---I was thrown into a profound narrative of victimization. "No matter what I do, the universe is against me.  I can do everything right and still experience no success.  Ultimately, I am powerless and helpless."

That is a terrible place to visit.

This tension between powerful and powerless is a deep and longstanding one in the human condition.  The twelve steps answers this tension by asking us to embrace our powerlessness.  It calls us into acceptance of all that we cannot control in life.  We are to tackle the things we can, but then let go of all that is beyond our control.  Ultimately, we are far less powerful than we would like to think, and acceptance of this fact can bring us tremendous peace.  It brings a sense of proportion to life and opens up a lot of forgiveness of ourselves and others.

It is the paradox embodied in yoga.  It is the paradox of life---to seek the union of things that seem diametrically opposed---strength and relaxation, taking action and surrendering, effort and ease.

Embracing my powerlessness actually gives me more genuine agency. Settling down to do what I can do and releasing all that is beyond me gives me much more peace of mind.

And so I realize that I am doing all I can.  I have focussed on three specific workplaces and done my research.  I have courted the managers, and honestly, I have been "hired" twice at one of my best choices, Starbucks. But I have yet to work a day, due to circumstances beyond my control.  Ugh.

I have done my part and am now utterly dependent on others, on technology, and on the whims of fate.  Acceptance of that and release of the outcomes is what brings peace.

If I am honest, life is pretty good. I have somewhere to live.  I have loving friends and family.  I have an education, enough to eat, and self-respect. That is more than a huge percentage of humans on this planet have. And I have the promise of a job, though every day of living without an income just sees the debt mounting.

Effort and ease.  Active and passive.  Do my part and let go of other people's part; which includes being at the mercy of those who are as human and flawed as I am.

Breathe and release.  No matter what comes my way, let it in and let it go again.

This is no easy spiritual "yoga pose"!  It is taking all I can do to stay present and keep breathing.  I want to be anywhere but here in this uncertainty and vulnerability.

Contentment lies just a few breaths away if I can just let it in.  Have I done all I can in this moment? Then I can let the struggle go.  Genuine contentment makes me more powerful.  Can I embrace that?  (I can, but will I?  Can I choose contentment in this moment?)

I will get back to you on that.

Spoons

The "Spoons" Metaphor or "Spoon Theory"

Recently, a darling young woman-friend said to me, "I can't.  I don't have enough spoons."  (She lives with depression.)

At my puzzled look she told me with delight about the helpful "meme" that is spreading through the collective conversation.  It all began with Christine Miserandino's attempt to explain to a friend what it is like to live with invisible illness---about the tough decisions one has to make every day with one's limited energy.

The concreteness of the spoon imagery has managed to effectively illustrate what invisibly ill people have been saying for years:  Those who live with illness have far fewer resources than the healthy.

Being judged for low functioning or being guilted into more activity is NOT helpful.  Even still I struggle to remember that I often have fewer spoons in a day than regular people do.  I don't need outside help in feeling like I am not doing enough or producing enough.  I manage to feel shitty all by myself. (It is part of being depressed).  Patience and compassion are needed, not more shaming and shoulds,

When I think in terms of my "spoons," however, I tend to get practical and pragmatic, rather than getting bogged down in shame.  I am hearing the metaphor of the spoons increasingly in the conversations around me now too, which makes my heart glad for all the other good people I know who live with invisible illness. (Illnesses such as lupus, multiple sclerosis, depression, anxiety disorder, and a so many more.)

It is too easy to judge others, and too frequently unjust.  The simple act of trying to explain or defend oneself  from others' judgments and "advice" and attempts to "fix" takes even more spoons from an already meager supply.

The world already is overly short on compassion and respect.  How about we hand around more of that and less of suspicion and judgment and ill-informed assumptions?

Let's start handing out free spoons.  A kind word; a smile; a helping hand; an anonymous act of kindness: these are the things that help everyone.  It is so much easier to give a spoon than take one.  Why are we so quick to assume that someone who is short on spoons deserves to be so?

Please, take excellent care of yourself if you are short on spoons!  Please accept help with grace, not shame!  And many thanks to all those blessed enough to have spoons to share, who share them.

"Love one another as I have loved you."

Find the original spoon theory story by Christine Miserandino here.

Pushing the Stream or Riding the Wave

Push? or Rest? When to do which?

Feb 12, 2016

As I sit here in my warm-enough space on this coldest of February days, I am reflecting on today's fatigue and discouragement.

A motivational post this morning encouraged me to "pull up my socks" and "get on with it" if I was discouraged; yet I know, deep in my heart, that that is not the answer for me today.

Once again I am in waiting mode.  The bitter cold outside emphasizes the "full-stop" feeling inside me.

I battle this energy a lot, and wonder what it has to teach me that I have not yet learned.  The messages around me---the predominant message of this culture---is "Push! Push! Push!" "Try! Try! Try!" "If nothing is happening, try HARDER!"

"Push! Push! Push!" "Try! Try! Try!" "If nothing is happening, try HARDER!" 

Those messages live deep in my own soul. I have never been keen on waiting for much of anything.  "Push!"  "Try!"  "Do!"

And yet the very energy of life is saying to me today, "Rest.  Renew.  It isn't time for pushing yet."

Why is that so hard to trust?

I have spent many lifetimes trying to "push" the stream of life. It has never been successful.  Instead, life seems to involve working with the waves and rhythms of life well, and harnessing them, not telling life how it should flow or trying to make it be different.

Again and again, I must learn the ways I am powerless in life.  I must learn to work with what I am given---seasonally, situationally, physically, and rhythmically. I must learn when to move and when to wait and rest---according to my instincts and the situation.

There is no point planting crops in the dead of winter.  There is no point trying to surf on a calm sea.  And there is no point trying to run a marathon (or even walk a mile) when one has just broken one's legs in a skiing accident.

Take it from the queen of pushing.  Sometimes NOT pushing is the better thing.

My personality is much happier doing than not doing, so pushing comes much easier than resisting the urge, and in this lies a metaphor for me and others like me.  The nurses had to teach me NOT to push  during one of my labors, even though I felt the urge.  Pushing at that time could have inflamed the cervix because I wasn't fully dilated, slowing or even preventing the birth.  Instead the nurses helped me breathe and resist the the urge to push until conditions were ready.

Until conditions were ready. 

Waiting for hospitable conditions does make a lot of sense.  When the conditions are good, all we need to do is ride the wave, harness the wind, or follow the urge to push.

The space in between resting and "riding the wave" does include a certain pushing that is good for us.  Taking a step towards one's goals might be exactly what is needed for you today.  Only you can know what is right for you.  There is an important practice that includes showing up for the work even if the conditions aren't perfect.  Writers must write, even when they aren't "feeling it."  All activities have their less than exciting stages---the "meh" surfing days, so to speak.  Logging those mediocre hours does get us to our goal, so long as we are not ignoring our need for rest.

If conditions are adequate, you have the option to paddle and row, or rest and renew.  It takes experience and wisdom to know which is better for you.

Then when ALL conditions are perfect, we simply ride the energy and it all comes easily.  Oh, to feel that way again!  It has been a LONG wait.

Until then, it is okay to rest.  REST is even strongly recommended in several bodies of spiritual teaching.  The resting pose in yoga is considered one of the most important and most overlooked.

I cannot push the stream of life.  I cannot make progress by blowing on my sail.  I cannot force Spring to come sooner by plowing the frozen ground and trying to plant seeds in it.

In fact, I cannot "mind-over-matter" or "sheer force of will" most of life's circumstances, no matter how much I wish I could.

"Push" except when it isn't right to push.  "Rest" except when it isn't helpful to rest.  Ride the joy every chance you get, but don't blame yourself if the joy seems to avoid you.  It may not be your fault.

Whatever your choices today, may you find self-understanding and compassion. May you become adept at learning the responses that help you progress toward your dreams, even if it is not-doing, or resting.

Today, I am breathing.  Today I am noticing how much I wish I was anywhere else than here (exhausted from over-doing, and anxious to "get it all done").  Today I am resting and waiting for the energetic Spring to come back, for the waves to pick me up and carry me, and for the wind to fill my sails once more.

Namaste,
Alison

Condensing a Life Into One Room

Condensing a Life Into One Room

Dec 13, 2015

I have been a stay-at-home mother of three, a parent of a child on the autism spectrum, a singer, choir director, guitar player, a published author, an avid sewer, a professional organizer, a seminary student, graduate student, pastor, and office manager.  I have lived in a four bedroom house, a townhouse, a mansion heated by an external wood-burning stove, and an apartment. 

As my marriage ended I shed many things.  As my kids grew up and moved out, I shed many more things.  I am now needing to find a way to live in one bedroom with access to half a storage locker. 54 years of life and resources must condense down until it fits into these two spaces.

I am culling files and recycling reams of paper.  Music projects, memories, records, receipts kept in case of an audit; sewing supplies, former drafts of writing projects, dishes, kitchen appliances, and all sorts of decorations from a home full of walls and shelves.  I have art with no place to hang it, sculptures with no display shelf available, and more books than you could possibly fit on one moderate shelf.

It is a terrible discipline, and yet feels freeing too.  It is just stuff.  Yet it is hard---very hard to let some of it go.

I realize as I do this the plight of so many refugees who have nothing of their original lives to carry forward, and of the victims of natural disasters who lose everything to a flood or fire or quake,

and I am appreciating the time to say goodbye and the good fortune of being able to hold on to my most cherished pieces.  I am grateful for family and friends and a safe place to live.

I will have access to a living room, bright kitchen, and spacious bathroom.  I am in a lovely neighbourhood.  But I may need to learn to live without a car.  

The new love of my life has lived mostly in one room in extra expensive NY City for all these past years.  He shares a kitchen and bathroom.  He has had no need of a car for over twenty years.  If he can do it, I can do it too.

I believe in small and simple living and living more environmentally.

Actually pruning my life down so as to be able to do this, however, is turning out to be quite the discipline!

Thoughts? Comments?  Suggestions?  Prayers?

"Healing, Hope, and Magic" Final Sermon at BCNJ

This sermon is the last one I preached as pastor of the Bath Church of the New Jerusalem.  During the children's time we talked about the power of ritual, and then had a time of anointing in which the children anointed the adults with healing oil from the Mount of Olives.  Later we had a time of prayer in which we could offer up our prayers using special paper and the tray of candles.  The paper represented our prayers, and the way the paper burned quickly and disappeared without any ash or residue represented the Lord accepting our prayers as well as how we are transformed by God's love.

The special music immediately following the sermon was "Winter Song" performed as a duet by myself and Alicia Dole.

 “Healing, Hope, and the Magical Future”

Rev. Alison Longstaff, Oct. 25, 2015

Bath Church of the New Jerusalem

Jeremiah 17:7-8, 10, 14; Mark 9: 17-24; Apocalypse Explained 518:5 

Healing

There is a saying that caught me off guard the first time I heard it in a twelve step program.  It is this: “We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.”

While I didn’t regret everything about my past when I heard this statement, there certainly were parts I would rather have forgotten.  Shutting the door on the embarrassing moments from my past seemed eminently sensible. The, “we don’t speak about that anymore,” sort of rule that I associate with a Downton Abbey approach to life ruled in my psyche.  I pushed away memories of uncomfortable events because they were, well, uncomfortable. 

Not only do twelve step programs ask us to open the door to the things we would rather forget, they promise us that we will not regret the past once we submit to the healing work of spiritual growth.  We first need to admit our mistakes, learn from them, make amends when we can, and then move on to better behavior.  These steps bring us to a place of “no regret.” “No regret” means we incorporate all of our experiences, good and bad. We don’t try to hide anything.  We don’t even want to.

In one of my first children’s talks here I told a story from my high school years. I was at a mass sleepover, and one of the girls was telling a story.  In the middle of the story this popular girl sneezed, and a booger shot out of her nose and onto her hands right in front of us.  There was a stunned silence. “Oh my gosh!  How gross!” she laughed. “I can’t believe that happened!” She exclaimed in embarrassed good humor, then asked for a tissue, and moved on with her tale.   She did not spiral into a pit of mortification and shame.  She did not try to pretend it didn’t happen.  She made it funny.  We laughed together to the point of tears.  Her lack of shame helped us all. 

Moving out of shame into personal integrity requires complete honesty and self-forgiveness.  We tell our story with humor and compassion, hiding nothing, accepting all parts of our story.  We see that we are not more broken than anyone else nor are we less broken, and our compassion begins to extend to everyone else we encounter.  Everyone makes mistakes.  Do we think we are less lovable when our mistakes are known?  It actually makes us more lovable in God’s eyes.

When things don’t go perfectly in a group or encounter, we humans tend to go into judgment and blame.  We try to discover who was “wrong” and then we distance ourselves from that “wrong” one.  It shows up as gossip, negative story-telling on others, and social cut-offs. This human tendency goes back even before the Old Testament from which we get the name “scapegoating.” I hope by now that everyone in this room knows that blaming and chopping off a part of our group is about the least helpful response to any painful situation. It is about as helpful as cutting off our hand should we accidentally hit it with a hammer.

When we step away from shame and blame and “what other people think,” we find ourselves in a whole new world—one in which nobody is perfect, and yet all are still lovable.  There is healing in such a forgiving space.  We become kinder to ourselves and others.  When we recognize our own flawed humanity in the other we are less likely to cast stones and more likely to bandage up. 

I have heard some people describe our journey together here at this church and my coming departure as some sort of failure.  I don’t see it that way at all.  I believe that every step of this journey has been guided by God’s benevolent Providence, and that everything that has happened has provided important learning for all concerned.  Did everyone make perfect decisions and behave perfectly at all times?  Of course not.  We are a group of humans, and the last time I checked, that means nobody is perfect. If we all have been showing up with good intentions, humility, and a willingness to learn, then we have done well.  I know I leave with tremendous personal gifts of learning, truly invaluable experiences, and a bunch more people to love and whom I will miss very much.

Hope

There was a funny moment at the 2014 Convention in St. Louis. The cafeteria had big glass windows that looked out onto a patio.  On the nice days, many of us wanted to eat out there, but to do so required a long walk around a side corridor to go out a side door.  There was a door through the big glass wall, but everyone “knew” that it was locked.  Every once in a while, someone would try it, have no success, and walk the long way around. 

Then as I sat eating, I watched a woman walk up to the glass door, give it a good yank, and walk outside when it opened.  I just started laughing.  That woman’s can-do attitude made her able to get through a sticky door that all others had believed was locked.  It had never been locked.  It just took a bit of determination to open. Believing that a door is unlocked can’t make it be unlocked, but it sure helps to open unlocked doors that are just a little sticky!  It simply needed faith, determination, and muscle.

Some of you know that my apartment door sticks.  I have called down the stairs to several visitors to “come on in; it isn’t locked,” yet its stickiness still stops a few.  I guess they don’t believe me when I say it isn’t locked.  And so I march down the stairs and yank it open for them and let them in. No, it really isn’t locked.  It really is just sticky.

I am sure that you have had experiences of setting your mind to doing something, and found the ability to get it done because of your sheer determination.  Believing that something is possible can give us the power to do the “impossible.”  However, if we start a project thinking “it has never worked before so it won’t work this time either,” we will probably fail.  We tend to discover what we expect to discover. Believing that something isn’t possible can keep us from even attempting projects of which we are actually capable.  Sometimes “believing” truly is what enables us to “see” a thing come to pass. 

When Jesus said, “Your faith has made you well,” he truly was meaning “faith” on every level of our being.  Jesus was able to heal his followers because of their great faith in him.  It was their faith in his ability to heal them that was in itself healing.  The Divine healing energy united with their confidence, allowing it to transform their spirits all the way down through the cells of their bodies.

Our psalmist cried out, “Heal me, and I will be healed; oh, Lord. Save me and I will be saved!”

And Jesus responds to our cry, “Your faith has made you well.” 

In some ways our spiritual recovery is still that simple.  “Seeing” may be “believing,” but even more so “believing” brings about “seeing.”   Thomas could not believe until he saw the wounds in the Lord’s hands, and there is a Thomas inside each of us.  But it is also true that sometimes we simply can’t see a thing until we first believe it is possible.

All too often, our fear of failure means we hide in a story of “can’t.” Isn’t it easier to give up rather than try and fail?  So we tried.  So it didn’t turn out as planned.  Maybe it is time to try again with more fierceness and an even deeper trust in God’s ability to work within and through our faith.  But if we believe that a thing is hopeless, there is only so much God can do.

That we will not be able to “see” things in which we do not believe is a truth more maddeningly powerful than most of us would like to, well, believe.  Anyone who wants to see the past twenty-two months as some sort of failure, will see it as a failure.  This could lead to ever more negative conclusions, rather like that poem* we read in our children’s talk a few weeks ago.  But if we believe that God guided every step of this process, from call to acceptance, from joyful to jaded, from optimistic even to opting-out, then nothing truly went wrong. The past months of love and hard work alongside each other could be seen as exactly what the doctor ordered for everyone’s ongoing growth.  I know I learned some invaluable lessons about parish ministry and about myself, and I believe that I will be leaving this congregation that much stronger and more self-aware, and even better equipped for building your future.  We have done some amazing things together.

The Magical Future

Last weekend I was at a two-day event dedicated to the world of Harry Potter.  There is something about the Harry Potter stories that have so captured the imagination of all ages that families will travel hundreds of miles to have the chance to play in that world and enjoy the collective experience.  Everywhere I looked I saw round glasses and lightning scars, wizarding robes and magic wands, and most of all great big smiles.

I spoke to a packed classroom about the magic of words and the powerful ways we already use words to effect change for the better in our lives.  My particular focus was how we use word and story to protect ourselves from negativity in our lives.  My talk was entitled, “Teaching Defense against the Dark Arts to Muggles” and seemed to strike a powerful chord in the listeners.

J. K. Rowling created a monster in her stories called a “dementor.”  Floating out of the gloom with scabbed hands, these black-robed figures represented our most negative thinking.  It takes powerful magic to drive these monsters away in the stories, magic that takes practice, and magic that calls on our deepest resources to do so.  Deep joy is the one force powerful enough to defend against these nightmarish, soul-sucking figures.  Young Harry struggles and struggles to be able to produce a powerful enough “spell” to drive these dementors back.  His fear of being unable to do it weakens his ability. His intense self-doubt makes him unable to tap the necessary strength.  Only when a fierce desire to save the life of a friend pours through him and out his wand does he tap enough passion to drive the murderous monsters away.

The love that God gives you, the love that lives inside your beating heart is that very same passion.  It is more powerful than you realize, especially when you align it with love for a good cause and faith in our all-powerful God.  If we pray for help with any good cause, you can bet God will provide.  Love is powerfully and mightily alive, if we are willing to open our hearts to it.  It can open any doors and drive away the darkest of monsters.

Heal us, O Lord, and we will be healed.

Lord, we believe; help, please, our unbelief.

There is no need to regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it, for it has made each one of us who we are, and has all been part of God’s plan.

Is God’s love alive?  You can bet it is.

Does God have an intention for good for this determined little group?  Have no doubt about it.

Amen

The Readings

Jeremiah 17:7-8,10,14

“But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him.
That one will be like a tree planted by the water that spreads out its roots by the river.
That tree does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green.
It will not be anxious in the year of drought, neither will it fail to bear fruit.”

 “I the Lord search the heart and examine the mind, to reward each person according to their conduct, according to the fruit of their actions.”

Heal me, and I will be healed; save me and I will be saved, for you are the one I praise, O Lord.

Mark 9:17-24

Someone from the crowd said, “Teacher, I brought you my son; he has a spirit that makes him unable to speak; and whenever it seizes him, it dashes him down; and he foams at the mouth and grinds his teeth and becomes rigid. I asked your disciples to cast it out, but they could not do so.” 

He answered them, “You faithless generation, how much longer must I be among you? How much longer must I put up with you? Bring him to me.”  And they brought the boy to him. When the spirit saw Jesus, immediately it convulsed the boy, who fell on the ground and rolled about, foaming at the mouth.  Jesus asked the father, “How long has this been happening to him?”

And he said, “From childhood. It has often cast him into the fire and into the water, to destroy him; but if you are able to do anything, have pity on us and help us.” 

Jesus said to him, “If you are able!—All things can be done for the one who believes.”

Immediately the father of the child cried out, “Oh Lord, I believe; help my unbelief!”

Apocalypse Explained 518:5

There are three reasons why faith in the Lord healed the Lord’s followers.

The first reason was that they believed that Jesus was God and therefore Omnipotent.

The second reason was that true faith brings complete trust, and complete trust creates a spiritual bond. All spiritual bonds which spring from complete trust cause each one to be spiritually present with the other.  (This happens all the time in the spiritual world.)  A spiritual connection was created because of the complete trust in Jesus’s Omnipotence. And because of this complete trust a spiritual connection with Jesus was established, which produced a transformation in their spiritual state. This is what is meant in the Scriptures by “the faith” that made them well.

The third reason why faith in the Lord healed the Lord’s followers was that all the natural diseases which the Lord healed represented and therefore were the embodiment of spiritual diseases to which they corresponded.  These spiritual diseases could only be healed by trusting in the Lord, by trusting His Divine Omnipotence, and by committing to live a better life. 

*The Poem referenced is:

Worst Day Ever?

by Chanie Gorkin, Brooklyn NY

Today was the absolute worst day ever

And don’t try to convince me that

There’s something good in every day

Because, when you take a closer look,

This world is a pretty evil place.

Even if

Some goodness does shine through once in a while

Satisfaction and happiness don’t last.

And it’s not true that

It’s all in the mind and heart

Because

True happiness can be attained

Only if one’s surroundings are good

It’s not true that good exists

I’m sure you can agree that

The reality

Creates

My attitude

It’s all beyond my control

And you’ll never in a million years hear me say

Today was a very good day

(Now read it from bottom to top, the other way,

And see what I really feel about my day.)

"Never Alone" sermon October 4, 2015

Last Sunday the church had a guest speaker while I attended meetings in San Francisco. 

This Sunday the readings are pretty foundational for insight in the sermon. These readings are  available at the end of this sermon. 

The Greek Testament reading was also the children's talk. For the children s' talk, I had seven people line up in the aisle one at a time, each one representing ten generations in the Luke genealogy, as I read out the names.   "Jesus" started half way up the aisle and the line of people stretched up to the altar.  The youngest girl, representing the ten generations that included Adam, touched the Bible, representing the human connection all the way back to God.

I was wanting to illustrate that we all trace all the way back to the very first peoples---that we all trace straight to God.  That all these people with these strange names were real (or represented real) people. I recommended that when we read the (otherwise strange and monotonous) genealogies, we can think about lines of interconnection with our own ancestors, and imagine just how connected we really are.

“Never Alone”

Rev. Alison Longstaff, Sept 13, 2015

Bath Church of the New Jerusalem

2 Kings 6:9-18; Luke 3: 23-38; Heavenly Secrets 2556 

“You are not alone in the universe, for you are surrounded by love.”

One of the folks who supports my health is a registered medical doctor who has switched his entire practice over to craniosacral therapy.  Craniosacral treatments, for those who don’t know, work at the energetic level of the body.  The healer’s hands touch your head or your feet or your back and any movement is gentle and subtle.  If you are the sort of person who believes in the profound interconnectedness of the spirit and body, then you would be comfortable with this sort of practitioner. My right brain is fine with “energy healers.”  My left brain waits in the car.

My left brain is the grounded, evidence-based, scientist part of my personality.  My right brain is the flake, um, I mean, “intuitive artistic genius.”  My scientific side feels intense discomfort whenever I spend money on things like “energy healers.” So I give it a valium lollipop, wrap it in a blanket, and tell it that it will all be over shortly.  My inner flake artist gets to have her batteries recharged in a way that works for her, and my inner scientist keeps his mouth shut. 

That mini sermon on the two halves of my human nature was all brought to you as a lead-up to my main point.

“You are not alone in the universe, for you are surrounded by love.”

When things in my personal life were heading abruptly downhill, last autumn, I found myself on this gifted osteopath’s table.  He often works in silence.  On this occasion he said out of the blue, “You know, you have a huge network of support.” He said it quietly and matter-of-factly.  I immediately felt and “saw” rank upon rank of loving spirits spreading out around me on all sides.  These energies were all rooting for me. They were all standing by, ready to help.  I did a lot of crying on that table—crying that needed to happen, crying that was part of the healing.

He was of course meaning that I had a huge network of spiritual support.

As I was feeling particularly alone at that time, this was a tremendously helpful and healing thing for him to say.  How did he know to say that at that time?  He just knew.  He just did.  That is how intuitive healing works.  It drives some scientists nuts, but it illustrates the truth that there is another level beyond this physical plane that is a key part of our reality. The quantum physicists are only just discovering how this other whole dimension of communication and connection might work. 

How is it that we just know things sometimes?  Is it perhaps because we are not alone in the universe, and we are surrounded by love? 

Being creatures of the body, with our senses tuned into this physical reality, we forget most of the time that there is any other reality but this one.  Our lives actually teem with evidence that our reality extends far beyond what we can see and hear—our experiences crackle with clues that patterns and rhythms and gut feelings are telling us stuff all the time that we have forgotten how to read or hear or understand. Much more wisdom is available to us than we can imagine, and every once in a while we get a glimpse of its magnitude.  But because the idea that immense wisdom and capability is just a thought or wish or spiritual practice away—because that idea scares the living daylights out of us, we get selective amnesia. We simply refuse to see, or we explain away the “unexplainable” things we experience.  Elisha and his servant were protected because the earthly army surrounding them stopped being able to see.  The army was “struck” with their own blindness, and this prevented them doing harm.

We mortals on our journey toward a more spiritual life do this all the time. We do not see things we are not ready to see. It is so much a part of our coping that we “forget” even that we do this.    

I have never seen any spirits.  I have never heard things that aren’t physically present.  But I have many friends who see spirits so often that it is just a matter of course for them.  They have learned to incorporate these experiences into their lives and make sense of them.  They have also learned not to mention them to too many people, because so many in our culture are not comfortable even thinking about such things let alone hearing about them.

In Gaelic culture this ability to see into the other realm is called the "second sight."  Someone with this ability might be called “fey” or a “seer”—literally a “see-er,” or “one who sees.”  Clairvoyant means “to see clearly.” By now I have had so many people tell me spontaneously about their experiences seeing spirits that I have gotten used to it. Maybe it is because I am a cradle Swedenborgian.  Maybe they can sense that I am open to the possibility of these experiences being true despite what science might say.  One friend has to wave away all the spirits who bombard her when she enters a hospital because they want her to pass on messages to their loved ones.  She tells them sternly that she is there for personal reasons and is not a messenger.  She has had to draw boundaries with them for her own survival.  This somehow makes sense to me.  Not all spirits are evolved and angelic and non-anxious.  Not all spirits will have healthy boundaries. The barrier that blinds and deafens us to that side of life protects all of us too.

Regardless of how crazy it might sound, Swedenborg teaches us that we live in two realities at once, and that some of us do experience the spiritual reality as an overlay on this physical one from time to time. Swedenborg had this experience frequently.  This is either a joy or an embarrassment to his readers depending on whether we are more open or more closed to the idea of an intimate connection with the spiritual world.  We all have a need for things to make sense, and if getting our energy healed, or seeing spirits, or believing in acupuncture or Feng Shui doesn’t fit into our idea of how reality operates, we will find a way to disappear these things from our sight and attention. We will discount them and explain them away.  We become blind to things we are not willing to see.  I don’t think that we need to worry about that.  I think it is part of how we cope with our incomprehensible experiences.  We are designed to filter out a huge part of our sensory data so that we can focus and act here and now, so that we can feel free and autonomous, and so that we are not freaked out by a reality we are not ready to handle or process.

Meanwhile, as we stumble along with our filters and ear-plugs and sunglasses, we are not alone in the universe, and we are surrounded by love.

Swedenborg refers to something he calls “the science of correspondences.”  Correspondences are the ways physical reality reflects or manifests spiritual realities.  When it comes to the Bible, “correspondences” are all the ways the words and phrases embody, represent, and bring to mind spiritual dynamics.  Swedenborg says that even if we don’t understand or “see” these spiritual meanings as we read the Bible, the spiritual message is still being communicated and stored up in our spirits.  There is an actual energetic spiritual connection with the words and phrases, and all the spirits connected to us are hearing spiritual truths while we are reading the concrete stories.  Imagine reading a children’s book with a child.  While the child is understanding the story at a child’s level, we might be seeing all sorts of adult meanings or more sophisticated concepts being communicated in the simple storyline.  The child gets what the child gets, and we get what we get because we are present with the child and have the ears to hear something bigger.

This time last week I was in meetings at the Center for Swedenborgian Studies in Berkeley, California.  The meetings were delightful and stimulating, and I am so glad I went, despite the exhausting traveling that was required, and my ridiculous ability to get into absurd situations.

I had been asked to give the closing devotion, and as usual, I had not prepared anything because there had not been time.  A certain phrase from Swedenborg had been pressing forward in my mind during the meetings: “Nothing unconnected ever occurs.”  Because that phrase had been knocking on my brain for a few days, I was looking it up on my iPad during the last session working with the phrasing to turn it into a meditative prayer.  It was during that reworking that I saw the “why” behind the profound declaration that “nothing unconnected ever occurs.”

"Most of humanity has been completely unaware that every single aspect of human feeling, perception, and thought is simply the outward expressions of the Divine energetic force flowing into humankind.  Because of this, every single aspect of human feeling, perception, and thought is actually interconnected with everything else that exists—but nobody knows this. In fact, each person is so energetically connected with those who are in their immediate spiritual community, that they would fall down lifeless if this connection were severed.  Also because of this inflowing of all life from the Divine Source, it is impossible for anything to exist that is not connected to everything else."  (Heavenly Secrets 2556 a portion)

 

There is a direct line from my soul to God, and from your soul to God, and from every piece of matter in this universe to God. This means we are all connected to each other and everything else that exists because we are all connected to God.  God is the only thing that exists, and everything that exists originated in God.  So no matter what the appearance or feeling we may have of being alone, we cannot ever be alone.  Just because we cannot see or hear the deep web of our interconnection with everything that exists does not mean it isn’t there.  Just because I cannot see that this lectern is actually a bunch of spinning molecules, or that you and I in the grand scheme of things are actually minute beings on a tiny ball hurtling through a vast expanse of space, kept safe and alive by an atmosphere thinner than skin doesn’t mean these things aren’t true. 

I don’t think we are meant to be thinking about these things all the time.  I expect we function best when believe our furniture is solid and the earth isn’t spinning and this reality right here is the most important.  Because that is the truth for us right now. We feel independent and alone because it is best for us.

But when Jesus ascended into heaven, one of the final things he said was, “Behold, I am with you always.”

“I am with you always.”  Always. Not, when we are good.  Not when we have prayed the right way. Not, “because you have signed up with the right church, or attended enough worship services, or believe the right things.”  Always.  What part of “always” means not always?

The life in each cell in each part of your body is God’s life.  The life in each part of your consciousness is sourced from God.  That is how God is with you and I even in the darkest moments. 

I could not believe in anything if I did not believe that somehow, in some way, the latest tragedy in Oregon, and every unaddressed injustice that has ever happened is made right in the bigger picture. When asked “where was God?” in the aftermath of the 9/11 attacks, rescue workers and survivors and volunteers spoke of countless acts of kindness, miraculous small incidents, and innumerable gifts of support from myriads of donors.  However you interpret this data, it seems to say to me that when the tug on our connection is strong enough, we feel it and respond.  God works through us.  We are all interconnected.  And because we are deeply and intimately connected with God, nothing can truly hurt us.

On that healer’s table one day he was working on my back.  He said something about removing knives from my back. I laughed.  Then I got very quiet and asked, “Is the key to surviving gossip having thick armor so that the knives can’t get in, or is it just getting good at pulling them out and healing quickly?”  He was quiet a while and then he said, “I think it lies in understanding that they can’t really hurt us.”

That made sense to me too.

“You are not alone in the universe, for you are surrounded by love.”

The Readings

2 Kings 6:9-18 

And Elisha sent to the king of Israel, saying, “Beware that you do not pass this certain place, for the Arameans are coming down there.”  Then the king of Israel sent someone to the place of which the man of God had told him and confirmed it. Thus Elijah warned the king of Israel again and again about the Arameans’ movements, and the king was protected.

Therefore the heart of the king of Aram was greatly troubled by this thing; and he called his servants and said to them, “Will you not show me which of us is for the king of Israel?”

And one of his servants said, “None, my lord, O king; but Elisha, the prophet who is in Israel, tells the king of Israel the words that you speak in your bedroom.”

So he said, “Go and see where he is, that I may capture him.”

And it was told him, saying, “Surely he is in Dothan.”

Therefore he sent horses and chariots and a great army there, and they came by night and surrounded the city. And when the servant of Elisha arose early and went out, there was an army, surrounding the city with horses and chariots. And his servant said to him, “Alas, my master! What shall we do?”

So he answered, “Do not fear, for those who are with us are more than those who are with them.” And Elisha prayed, and said, “Lord, I pray, open his eyes that he may see.” Then the Lord opened the eyes of the young man, and he saw. And behold, the mountain was full of horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha.

As the Aramean army advanced toward him, Elisha prayed, “O Lord, please make them blind.” So the Lord struck them with blindness as Elisha had asked.

Luke 3:23-38

Now Jesus himself was about thirty years old when he began his ministry. 

He was the son, so it was thought, of Joseph,

the son of Heli, the son of Matthat, the son of Levi, the son of Melki,

the son of Jannai, the son of Joseph, the son of Mattathias, the son of Amos, the son of Nahum,

who was the son of Esli, the son of Naggai, the son of Maath, the son of Mattathias, the son of Semein, the son of Josek, the son of Joda, the son of Joanan, the son of Rhesa, the son of Zerubbabel, the son of Shealtiel,

who was the son of Neri, who was the son of Melki, the son of Addi, the son of Cosam, the son of Elmadam, the son of Er, the son of Joshua, the son of Eliezer, the son of Jorim, the son of Matthat, the son of Levi, 

who was the son of Simeon, the son of Judah, the son of Joseph, the son of Jonam, the son of Eliakim, the son of Melea, the son of Menna, the son of Mattatha, the son of Nathan, the son of David, the son of Jesse,

who was the son of Obed, the son of Boaz, the son of Salmon, the son of Nahshon, the son of Amminadab, the son of Ram, the son of Hezron, the son of Perez, the son of Judah, the son of Jacob, the son of Isaac,

who was the son of Abraham, the son of Terah, the son of Nahor, the son of Serug, the son of Reu, the son of Peleg, the son of Eber, the son of Shelah, the son of Cainan, the son of Arphaxad, the son of Shem,

who was the son of Noah, the son of Lamech, the son of Methuselah, the son of Enoch, the son of Jared, the son of Mahalalel, the son of Kenan, the son of Enosh, the son of Seth, the son of Adam, the son of God.

Heavenly Secrets 2556 a portion

Most of humanity has been completely unaware that every single aspect of human feeling, perception, and thought is simply the outward expressions of the Divine energetic force flowing into humankind.  Because of this, every single aspect of human feeling, perception, and thought is actually interconnected with everything else that exists---but nobody knows this. In fact, each person is so energetically connected with those who are in their immediate spiritual community, that they would fall down lifeless if this connection were severed.  Also because of this inflowing of all life from the Divine Source, it is impossible for anything to exist that is not connected to everything else.