Bryn Athyn Celebration of Ordination, Part 1

We started the party with a skit:
(In case you're not sure, this is satire.)

General Church member: Hey, Hi! Good to see you! (Hug) I hear you are a minister now. Congratulations!
Alison: Thanks! I feel great. I’m very happy.
General Church member: So, they finally let women into the Bryn Athyn theological school....and they ordained you. Wonders never cease.
Alison: Well, no. I’m ordained into the Swedenborgian Church of North America - the "Convention" Church.
GC member: Ohhhhhh! Well then.... So you’re not a real minister.
Alison: No. I guess I’m not a real minister.
GC member: So, where did you study to get your degree?
Alison: I did the bulk of my studies at a wonderful Lutheran seminary in Ontario, and got all my Swedenborgian credits through the Convention seminary in California by distance learning.
GC member: I see. So, not at a real seminary.
Alison: No. I couldn’t study at a real seminary. But I made wonderful friends at my seminary!
GC member: Oh! Are they in the General Church?
Alison: Well, no, it was a Lutheran seminary....
GC member: So, they aren’t real friends.
Alison: No. I guess you’re right. They aren’t real friends....
GC member: Mmm-hmmm.... So, where do you work?
Alison: I work at the Church of the Good Shepherd, in Kitchener.
GC member: Ohhhhhh! Well then.... (relieved) So at least you are working in Caryndale.
Alison: No. That’s the General Church congregation. I work at the Convention Church in Kitchener.
GC member: Ohhh. So, you don’t work at a real church.
Alison: No. You’re right. I guess I don’t work at a real church....
GC member: And how is your husband with all this?
Alison: He’s been wonderful, really supportive.
GC member: But, you’re not a member of the General Church any more?
Alison: That’s right. I resigned almost two years ago.
GC member: So, you don’t even have a real marriage.
Alison: I guess not, not a real marriage.... (Sighs)
GC member: (Pause. Brightens) Well, your children! How are they doing?
Alison: Both of my daughters have wonderful, adorable boyfriends, who are really good to them.
GC member: That’s wonderful! Who are they?
Alison: You wouldn’t know them. They aren’t in the General Church.
GC member: So, they don’t have real boyfriends.
Alison: No. Not real boyfriends.
GC member: But they are both at The Academy?
Alison: No. None of my children are.
GC member: So, you don’t even have real children.
Alison: No, I don’t even have real children. (Sighs)
GC member: (Long, awkward pause.) Well! This has been interesting.
Alison: Indeed! But don’t worry. Talking to me wasn’t even a real experience, so you’ll be okay.
GC member: (Laughs with relief.) You’re right! Well that’s all right then! Good bye!
Alison: It has been quite interesting talking to you. (Then, under her breath) Unreal....