Why Does God Speak in Parables? -sermon

Why Does God Speak In Parables?
Rev. Alison Longstaff, July 19, 2015

Bath Church of the New Jerusalem

Isaiah 6:6-10; Matthew 13:10-15; Sacred Scripture 97

You will indeed listen, but never understand, and you will indeed look, but never perceive.  For this people’s heart has grown dull, and their ears are hard of hearing, and they have shut their eyes; so that they might not look with their eyes, and listen with their ears, and understand with their heart and turn—and I would heal them.’ (Matthew 13:10-15 NRS)

At first glance, today’s Bible passages imply that God stops some people from understanding the Word. They imply that those who do somehow understand the inner message within the Word are given to understand and receive more and more wisdom, while those who don’t understand not only miss out on the inner meaning, but will be stripped of what understanding they do have.  Jesus says: “The reason I speak to them in parables is so that ‘seeing they do not perceive, and hearing they do not listen, nor do they understand.’  He then quotes a passage from Isaiah to emphasize his point.  In it the wording is even more harsh:

Go and say to this people: “Keep listening, but do not comprehend; keep looking, but do not understand.” Make the mind of this people dull, and stop their ears, and shut their eyes, so that they may not look with their eyes, and listen with their ears, and comprehend with their minds, and turn and be healed.  (Isaiah 6:9-10)

Today’s passages say that if the people understood, they would turn and be healed. Does this mean that God prevents some people from hearing and seeing?

These passages imply that to “be healed,” we must first manage to figure out the secret inner message to the “parables” and then we get the “abundance.”  But what if I’m not smart enough?  If my spiritual IQ is less than stellar, am I doomed to be stripped of my little rather than granted abundance?  Am I doomed to miss out on the “healing?”  Why would God prevent some of us from seeing and hearing the truths of the Word?

This picture of God isn’t fitting with a God who loved us so much that He came to earth and suffered and died for our eternal salvation.  So let’s look in deeper.

It always helps to look at the context of a saying.  The setting for our main quote is the gospel of Matthew.  Matthew begins with the promise of “God with us” (1:23) and ends with “I am with you always.” (28:20) The middle of Matthew is chock full of parables, one after another, many of them about the kingdom of heaven as something to be sought.  So this gospel’s overarching message is “God is with us,” and with us always, as well as the strong implication that we must seek the kingdom of heaven if we want to find it.  We need to want the kingdom of heaven to find it.  Today’s story is found within this bigger message: “God desires to be with us forever, but there is a process involved for us to achieve this.”

Matthew thirteen in particular opens with, “That same day Jesus went out of the house and sat beside the sea.  Such great crowds gathered around him that he got into a boat and sat there, while the whole crowd stood on the beach.” (1-2)

There is a wealth of meaning in these few lines. When it says Jesus went out of the house and entered a boat, it is preparing us for a paradigm shift. A boat is a structure that enables us to maneuver safely over great depths of water, to stay dry, to access the resources of the deep without drowning, and (especially in the days before cars and trains and planes) to travel long distances more quickly and efficiently than we could over land.

Emanuel Swedenborg tells us that boats have relation to the way our mind is structured by ideas.  Jesus sat in the boat to teach, implying a bending down or accommodation of His understanding to ours.  In this case, Jesus is established in His own Divine understanding of the Word, and then bending Himself in order to accommodate His understanding to our limited and mortal minds.

The crowd is standing on the beach. They have followed Jesus as far as they can, and cannot follow him farther.  They have hit a barrier—the sea.  They stand on the beach, at the very edge of the sea—where the land ends and past which these mortals could not travel and survive very long without specialized equipment and/or extensive swimming lessons.

Swedenborg tells us that water means knowledge, and that seas represent a large body of knowledge (a gathering together of many waters). This means that a sea illustrates a vast collection of knowledge available in one great mass; in this setting, it represents revelation.  We need Divine aid in navigating revelation effectively and safely.  We might find revelation (the sea) beautifully supportive or wildly threatening, full of bounty or ready to tear our life apart, all depending on our equipment, our training, and especially the weather.

This story in Matthew is a particular discussion of how the Divine message within revelation finds accommodation to our mortal condition.  We stand on the shore, longing to hear it.  A few of us might have boats too, but if we are honest, Jesus doesn’t even need a boat. He can walk on water.  Even in our most optimistic and beautifully confident moments of faith (Peter), we can imitate the ability to walk on water only temporarily.  Our understanding is too limited—our comprehension too hopelessly mortal—and we are quickly swamped. We sink too easily. Only Jesus has the ability to navigate the depths without assistance—He is the Word incarnate.  His being in a boat is an accommodation to our human condition, because the crowd couldn’t have handled it if he had simply walked out and sat on the water.

As for us, “standing on the shore” at least says that we are on our feet; we are ready to move.  We have come as close as we can.  In this verse it says “beach,” which gives us the image of small rocks or sand beneath our feet.  Water is knowledge that is so abstract that it takes special mental constructs to navigate.  Sand is also knowledge, but it is more “grounded” or solid than water. Anybody can access “sand” knowledge and “walk” on it.  It is relatively solid, though it shifts and blows. It is less solid than rock, but solid enough for many purposes. It has been ground down by wind and water action.  However, notice that it is about as loose and shifting as a substance can be “under our standing” before we need special equipment.

In the story, Jesus moves from solid ground to water, and we follow as far as we can.  From the vast sea of wisdom, God bends himself to teach us.

Matthew thirteen is packed with parables.  Indeed, almost right away in thirteen do we find the disciples asking, “Why do you speak to them in parables?” indicating that this chapter may address that very question. The word parable comes to us from the Greek word “paraballo,” meaning “to throw alongside” or “to compare.”  A parable by definition then, holds a parallel or symbolic meaning.  It reveals more than our first glance might assume. The listener is asked to make a mental leap in order to follow the deeper line of thought.  A parable invites us to stretch our minds, to think about things in a new way: a parable is a kind of puzzle that teases our minds into new insight.  It can be seen at face value, or interpreted for a deeper meaning.

At face value, today’s passage seems to say that God speaks in parables to prevent some of us from “hearing and seeing”.  Why on earth would the Word say this, and why would Jesus emphasize it?  We find a possible answer in Swedenborg’s work The Divine Providence: The Lord provides that no one should interiorly acknowledge truths and then afterwards depart from them and make them profane. (231:9)

According to Swedenborg, this strange story is internally about how the Lord protects us from profaning the Word. It is imperative that when we receive Divine truth it is with respect and spiritual maturity, because without respect and spiritual maturity we can do great harm to ourselves and each other.  And so the Lord speaks to us in parables.  We are kept from understanding deeper truths until we are spiritually ready.

Swedenborg says in The Doctrine of the Sacred Scripture number 97:

The literal meaning of the Word is a guard for the genuine truths lying within it. It may be turned this way and that, and interpreted to one’s own understanding, without its interior content being injured or violated. It does no harm that the meaning of the letter of the Word is understood differently by different persons: but harm results when Divine truths, lying concealed within, are twisted toward evil, for in this way violence is inflicted on the Word. To prevent this, the sense of the letter is a guard; and it acts as a guard with those who are in false thinking from their religion.

Or as translator Michael David words The Doctrine of the Sacred Scripture number 26:

“So, to prevent anyone from coming upon the spiritual meaning of the Word, and screwing up what is really true there, the Lord has posted security guards, who are meant by the ‘cherubim’ mentioned in the Word.”  (SS David 2004 26:2)

The Word exists among a humanity full of mixtures of goodness and not-so-goodness.  Some people (and some of our own inner states) are more arrogant and controlling, and some are gentler and seeking mutual well-being.  Churches also come in all sorts of mixtures of good intentions and a desire to control, ignorance or deep scholarship, sometimes doing good and sometimes doing harm. The innocent parts of us that are open to learning are represented by the sheep, the lost sheep, and the gentiles in the Word as well as by the disciples.  Those who wish to use the Bible to control others and control the church are represented by the “Pharisees.”  It is important to remember that the Pharisees aren’t so much a group “out there,” but a part of your inner world and mine.  They represent a phase or mind-set when we are sure we know what is right, and are putting our energies and attention into religious rules and enforcement.  In this mindset, we have fallen away from the “Spirit” of revelation and sunk into legalism.  We have made the Letter of the Word the Law.

When we are needing to use the Word to control other people (“Pharisees”), our eyes are blinded and our ears stopped up. We are not open to the spirit. We don’t even recognize it when it is staring us in the face. The survival of this mindset depends on silencing the voice of the spirit. This mindset is also represented by Herod who tried to slay the infant Jesus.  It is imperative that the Lord protects and prevents that part of our inner nature from accessing the tender inner truths of the Word until we are spiritually ready to treat them with respect. God hides away this precious inner meaning and keeps it (and us) safe. In fact, in his work The Divine Providence, Swedenborg tells us:  “We are not granted inner access to the truths of faith nor the goodness of mutual love except so far as we can be kept in them with integrity right on to the end of life.” (DP Longstaff 2005 21)

And so it is not so much that the Lord prevents us from seeing, but our own spiritual immaturity closes our hearts and eyes.  Revelation is presented to us in parables for our own protection.  The image of child-locks on kitchen cupboards comes to mind.  It is not good for us to have access to the knives, electrical appliances, or cleaning detergents until we are mature enough to use them responsibly.  Isaiah 6:9-10 and Matthew 10-15 can be read as, “I have put locks on the cupboards.  Those of you who reach sufficient maturity will be allowed access to the things inside.  When you are ready, these tools will add tremendously to your ability to work and serve.  If you are not ready, I will need to take away any of those things if you get a hold of them, for your own protection.”  For me, this reading of today’s story fits with the God that is being revealed in the Word—a God that comes as close as possible to those who are ready to receive, and a God who guides our spiritual advancement carefully, only presenting things as we are ready to handle them. 

Salvation is not a one-time event but a series of lifelong choices. You and I are on a path of spiritual evolution. And until we are ready for deeper concepts, we are not ready.  God guides and protects each one of us, every step of the way.

For when we are ready, the Word holds hidden vast stores of treasures in great abundance. But we need to desire this treasure, like the widow of the parable sweeping to find the coin or the man selling all he has for the field with the buried treasure.  Our part is to come to the shore—as close as we can—and stand eager to receive.  If we come with reverence and humility, and the awareness of the deep Divinity of the inner message, the Word sits ready to teach.

But if we see the Word as a tool for controlling the lives of others, it will soon become a hard and lifeless thing in our hands.  If we see instead that it is like dough with hidden leaven, prepared for our own daily bread, we will handle it with care so that the leaven can do its work.  The God revealed in the Word longs for lasting growth and strong roots in his disciples.  Such a sower exercises great patience, for strong growth takes time, even as the raising of bread dough must not be rushed.

With its appearance of impatience and harshness, perhaps Matthew 13:10-15 actually hides words of great gentleness and patience.  God has plans for our well-being and not for harm.

We do not need to worry and be afraid.  We simply need to grow in our hearts and soften our need to control, and seek diligently for readiness and wisdom.  God does all the rest.

Therefore the Lord waits to be gracious to you; therefore he will rise up to show mercy to you. For the Lord is a God of justice; blessed are all those who wait for him. (Isaiah 30:18)

Do not be afraid.  Seek and you will find.

Amen

The Readings

Isaiah 6:6-10 (NAS)

Then one of the seraphim flew to me with a burning coal in his hand, which he had taken from the altar with tongs. He touched my mouth with it and said, “Behold, this has touched your lips; and your iniquity is taken away and your sin is forgiven.”

Then I heard the voice of the Lord, saying, “Whom shall I send, and who will go for Us?” Then I said, “Here am I. Send me!” 

He said, “Go, and tell this people: ‘Keep on listening, but do not perceive; Keep on looking, but do not understand.’ “Render the hearts of this people insensitive, Their ears dull, And their eyes dim, Otherwise they might see with their eyes, Hear with their ears, Understand with their hearts, And return and be healed.”

Matthew 13: 10-15 (TNIV)

The disciples came to him and asked, “Why do you speak to the people in parables?” 

He replied, “The knowledge of the secrets of the kingdom of heaven has been given to you, but not to them. Those who have will be given more, and they will have an abundance. As for those who do not have, even what they have will be taken from them. This is why I speak to them in parables: “Though seeing, they do not see; though hearing, they do not hear or understand. In them is fulfilled the prophecy of Isaiah: “‘You will be ever hearing but never understanding; you will be ever seeing but never perceiving. For this people’s heart has become calloused; they hardly hear with their ears, and they have closed their eyes. Otherwise they might see with their eyes, hear with their ears, understand with their hearts and turn, and I would heal them.’

SS 97

The literal meaning of the Word is a guard for the genuine truths lying within it. It may be turned this way and that, and interpreted to one’s own understanding, without its interior content being injured or violated. It does no harm that the meaning of the letter of the Word is understood differently by different persons: but harm results when Divine truths, lying concealed within, are twisted toward evil, for in this way violence is inflicted on the Word. To prevent this, the sense of the letter is a guard; and it acts as a guard with those who are in false thinking from their religion.

Forgive Us Our Debts

“Forgive Us Our Debts”

Rev. Alison Longstaff, Oct. 13, 2015

Bath Church of the New Jerusalem

Isaiah 40:6-11; Luke 16: 19-31; Heavenly Secrets 6960 

I love researching sermons.  The deeper I delve, the bigger and broader and more amazingly interconnected the insights become.  (It doesn’t get better than being Swedenborgian in my honest opinion.)

Heavenly Secrets 6960. ‘Put your hand into your bosom’ means making truth ones own. This is evident from the meaning of ‘hand’ as power, and from the meaning of ‘bosom’ as love. The chest corresponds to love since the chest holds within it the heart.  We have a sense of ownership of or attachment to the things we love. Therefore ‘the bosom’ symbolizes the things we ‘own’ or identify with, which is the same as the things we love.  For this reason ‘putting a hand into one’s bosom’ here means making something one’s own.  And for this reason 'the bosom’ symbolizes a person’s true self, or all the things with which one identifies or one ‘owns.’ 

“Forgive us our debts.”

I have had this topic on my heart for a while, having listened to many stories of good people struggling with overwhelming debt in the past several years.  I came to Maine with no debt and will be leaving with several thousand in debt, so it is an active personal topic as well. 

According to my book-keeping program, I now have a negative net worth.  I am worth less than nothing.  It doesn’t matter what my character is or my desire to do good, or my kindness, or my life experience.  Put me next to someone who earns more than I do—who owns more than I do—and I can be seen as “worth less” or worthless.  In today’s culture it means I must be less deserving.  That it would tell Jesus the same thing were He among us today is only a little comforting.

“Forgive us our debts.”

Debt weighs heavily on our hearts.  In this culture in particular debt seems to strike at our very sense of human worth, not just material worth.

Take yourself back to a time when you realized that you owed far more than you could pay.  Surely everyone in this room has experienced that bottom-dropping-out sensation—that cold hollow in the gut when you realized you didn’t know how you would repay a debt. Remember that insurmountable bill—that frightening peek into the future that struck at your very sense of worth and capability.  It doesn’t feel good.

To have a hopeless, unpayable debt forgiven, throws us sobbing on our knees.

As I researched this topic, I kept being struck by the relationship of debt with ownership, and Swedenborg’s extensive discussion of what is “our own.”  In spiritual growth circles, phrases have emerged such as “I need to own my part of it,” and “that wasn’t mine to own”.  They are used to describe how we do or don’t take responsibility over our part in misunderstanding and conflict.  Spiritual growth work invites us into greater and greater clarity over what we do and don’t “own” in our relationships. This clarity brings healing to all areas of our lives. We develop the ability to “own” our part rather than “pass the buck” to someone else. 

Spiritual “ownership” means we take responsibility for our contributions to life situations.  We become better and better at managing what is ours and leaving alone what isn’t ours in our relationships with others. We start spending increasing energy on our own spiritual territory and stop spending so much energy on what other people “should” be doing. The metaphor holds strong all the way through.  Our debts are all the things we are refusing to take responsibility for yet which drain our ability to be of service to others.  We need help acknowledging them and learning to manage them. This is far easier than it sounds but it is essential to our happiness.

“Forgive us our debts.”

When the scripture reading from Isaiah says that God carries the lambs in His bosom, it is symbolizing the way God embraces our innocence and vulnerability.  The bosom symbolizes what someone loves most—it is the “heart place.”  The female bosom symbolizes motherly comfort and nourishment; the male bosom symbolizes fatherly protection and strength.  The Divine bosom encapsulates all of these qualities in one and transcends them as well.  Our weakness and ignorance are next to God’s heart.  He carries us tenderly even when we feel weak and unworthy.

When we pledge allegiance, we put our hand to our “bosom.” This shows our willingness to support something we hold dear.  This intuitive act of placing our hand on our heart springs from the spiritual meaning of showing commitment to the things that have the most meaning in our lives. 

Swedenborg tells us that we are what we love.  The things we draw to ourselves represent our desire to “own” or be identified with those things.  Ultimately, everything we pull close represent what we love, and what we love is who we are.  Why would we pull close those things that reflect badly on us, even if we are responsible for their existence?

 “Forgive us our debts.”

We say that phrase every time we say the Lord’s Prayer. It is a simple phase, holding within it such a world of meaning.  We are not asking that God forgive our debts when we pray this.  We are stating the reality of what God is already doing.  Our “debts” are already and continuously forgiven by God.  It is we who cannot forgive our debts.  It is we who feel the shame, and can get caught between denial and self-abuse when we realize how much we “owe” spiritually.  We struggle with all aspects of spiritual ownership. We tend to swing between wanting too much “credit” or wanting none at all even though it is due.  We notice when others “take credit” unduly and we feel the injustice of it.

Where do you lie on the spectrum of ownership of your spiritual worth?  Do you acknowledge the riches you have and use them in wise service, or do you tend to feel undeserving and bury them in the ground? Are your riches repeatedly cast before swine?  When the world wants to hand you responsibility because of your spiritual abilities, do you hide your gifts under a bushel, or do you step up and offer from your bounty?  Or are you the one most likely to give energetically more than you have only to end up needing help yourself or in debt?

Because we all tend to be out of balance in one direction or the other, there is only honor in recognizing yourself in one of these profiles.  “Owning” your tendencies is the first step toward a healthier spiritual “financial portfolio.”  As for me, I am the one who gives away too much.  I repeatedly “spend” too much on helping others, forgetting to leave enough for myself.  There is a false “Christian” cachet associated with this way of living that is not actually helpful.  Another name for an overly-sacrificing style of relationship might be “codependency.” So detrimental can codependency be to healthy relationship, it now has its own twelve step group to aid people in recovery. Far from making everything better as it likes to believe it can, codependence is often as big a part of the problem as what it is trying to help.

And this brings us back to ownership.  If I am too ashamed to “own” the ways I am codependent, but instead pass responsibility onto others, (blaming) I will never get free of my spiritual “debts.”  Only by owning my part in each problem to the best of my ability (but no more than my part) can I help restore my relationships to their rightful balance.  Even if those around me are wobbling in their balance, the more stable and healthy I am in myself, the more I make space for others to find their balance.  The only debt I can own is my own.  The only contribution I am responsible for is my own.  And because we are all so interconnected, the more stable and balanced I become, the more easily those around me can find their own balance.

“Forgive us our debts.”

My grandfather kept a little black book on each of his eight children, tallying what they were costing him as they grew up. Imagine the emotional impact that must have had on those seven little girls and one little boy.  One day my grandmother, who rarely stood up to her charismatic but often violently angry husband, threw those books in the fire.  He never raised a hand to her, they say.

A chasm of unworthiness existed in the heart of my grandfather. He could not forgive himself for whatever he thought was so completely unlovable inside himself, so he spread harsh judgment and blame onto those around him.  A terrible accuser existed inside his own consciousness, placing on him a sense of debt so great he could never get out from under it.  He could not love his children because he could not love himself.  I don’t know what wound he carried, but I don’t believe he ever forgave himself on this earth. He died of a massive heart attack at age forty eight.  My prayer is that he found the self-forgiveness he needed in the life to come.

 

“Forgive us our debts.”

God would no more keep a book of deposits and debits on our spiritual account than would any loving parent.  Imagine saying to a newborn, “Well, it will be twenty thousand for the hospital fees; another ten thousand for the prenatal visits, blood-tests, and ultrasounds; then there was the six hundred for the maternity wardrobe; two hundred for the prenatal vitamins; and we haven’t even begun to add up the costs of diapers, immunizations, clothing, school costs, university….  Will that be check or credit card?”

We can never repay our “debt” to God, but it isn’t about debt, with God.  It is we who cannot forgive our debts, not God.  We are born profoundly imperfect, frightened, and ignorant.  We then inherit whatever the family legacy might be, be it privilege and loving support or blame, abuse, and addiction, or something in between.  If we leave this life having made any progress on the spiritual family legacy, I count it as a win. Besides, no one can see our spiritual balance sheets but God anyway.

And God forgave our debts before we were born.

Amen

The Readings

Isaiah 40: 6-11

The voice said, “Cry out!”

And I said, “What shall I cry?”

“All flesh is grass, And all its loveliness is like the flower of the field. The grass withers, the flower fades, because the breath of the Lord blows upon it; surely the people are grass. The grass withers, the flower fades, but the word of our God stands forever.”

O Zion, You who bring good tidings, get up into the high mountain;

O Jerusalem, You who bring good tidings, lift up your voice with strength. Lift it up, be not afraid;
Say to the cities of Judah, “Behold your God!”

Behold, the Lord God shall come with a strong hand, and His arm shall rule for Him;

Behold, His reward is with Him, and His work before Him.

He will feed His flock like a shepherd; He will gather the lambs with His arm, and carry them in His bosom, and gently lead those who are with young.

Luke 16:19-31

“There was a rich man who was dressed in purple and fine linen and lived in luxury every day. At his gate was laid a beggar named Lazarus, covered with sores and longing to eat what fell from the rich man’s table. Even the dogs came and licked his sores.

“The time came when the beggar died and the angels carried him to Abraham’s side. The rich man also died and was buried. In Hades, where he was in torment, he looked up and saw Abraham far away, with Lazarus in his bosom. So he called to him, ‘Father Abraham, have pity on me and send Lazarus to dip the tip of his finger in water and cool my tongue, because I am in agony in this fire.’

“But Abraham replied, ‘Son, remember that in your lifetime you received your good things, while Lazarus received bad things, but now he is comforted here and you are in agony. And besides all this, between us and you a great chasm has been set in place, so that those who want to go from here to you cannot, nor can anyone cross over from there to us.’

“He answered, ‘Then I beg you, father, send Lazarus to my family, for I have five brothers. Let him warn them, so that they will not also come to this place of torment.’

“Abraham replied, ‘They have Moses and the Prophets; let them listen to them.’

“‘No, father Abraham,’ he said, ‘but if someone from the dead goes to them, they will repent.’

“He said to him, ‘If they do not listen to Moses and the Prophets, they will not be convinced even if someone rises from the dead.’”

Small Boundaries in the Big City

I have been living in Manhattan for  ten months now.  In terms of population density, Manhattan wins the prize as the most densely populated region in all of the United States with 69, 427 people per square mile.  *Cough.*  Excuse me?  What?!

Manhattan has 69, 427 people per square mile.  I don't think I can imagine 69,000 people all at once, let alone within one square mile of me, repeated every mile....

One thing I have marvelled at is how the city still manages to function, supplying drinking water, removing waste, keeping traffic moving (sort of), and managing so many pedestrians and cyclists and buses and ambulances and fire trucks and delivery trucks, all with their own agendas, trying to navigate the same small footprint of roadways.  NYC gets high praise for working AT ALL, given the level of service it needs to provide in such cramped surroundings.

But an inevitable down-side of all this crowding is the impatience that arises from waiting in long line after long line WHILE having some of the most demanding workplaces. "Go fast!" "Go faster!" "Do more!" "Sell more!" "Go! Go! Go!"

It is a wonder there aren't more crabby and ill-behaved humans here than I have already encountered.

And is it any wonder that most humans try to find short-cuts and quick work-arounds for the endless delays and apparently needless barriers we encounter just trying to get through our day?

A simple example is what happens regularly when customers and non customers encounter the number code on the one bathroom we have at our Starbucks.  This single locked bathroom is the norm in Manhattan, if there is a bathroom at all.

The barista on bar is usually the closest employee to the bathroom and must field the endless barrage of this question, "Excuse me. What is the code to the bathroom?"  Depending on the day, the shift manager, or the store manager's mood, the answer is, "It will be on the bottom of your receipt," (it isn't unless we take the time to stamp it there, and 90% of the customers don't want their receipt,) or, "You must get it from the register," (more accurate, and puts the onus of knowing who is a customer and who is not on the employees most likely to know,) or simply telling the customer the code (if you happen to know it, as it changes on a regular basis.  (I have been told in no uncertain terms that each response is THE ONE we do at our store, depending on the day and who is telling me, so my job is endlessly interesting.)

We have a BOUNDARY on our bathroom because it is abused.  We have addicts pass out in there, shoot up in there and leave needles, roll joints on the baby changing table and leave it covered in pot and/or tobacco.  We have folks who miss the toilet and hit the floor, leave excrement smeared around the room, and leave bloody tissues and clothing on the floor and in the trash can.

Our one store is not and cannot be the public bathroom for our area of this troubled city.  We are not trained nor equipped (nor paid enough!) to deal with nor clean up after the percentile of poorly behaved humans who are looking for somewhere to do their thing.

And so we must have a way of trying to block those people so that we can provide a safe and clean restroom for our customers.

This also means we must deal with the inevitable abuse that comes our way for NOT having a public washroom.

Seriously, if no one abused or crossed boundaries, we would have no need of locks, barriers, or the intense expenditure of energy it takes to constantly hold a line against those who wish to cross it.

Every half block someone is asking me for money, and it takes emotional energy to block them out. It takes emotional energy to process the sheer number of desperate (or manipulative) people trying to get money from me every time I step out on the street.  It takes energy to process the pain and anger I feel at the society that allows such conditions to exist.

Locks and barriers are there to protect, and exist because of past abuses.   In such a dense population, virtually everything is locked everywhere, which slows all of us down, and requires us to invent elaborate ways to allow the trusted ones to access the services while trying to keep abusers out. Meanwhile, the abusers are relentlessly trying to hack the systems designed to keep them out, requiring us to spend even more energy on new ways to block those who would rob and cheat and steal.

Is there no way to try to create a society in which folks feel no compulsion to rob and cheat and steal? Even given that perhaps no matter how well nurtured and raised and educated, there will be those who choose to cheat, is there still not a way to create a society that nurtures and supports to such an extent that folks are rarely so desperate or distressed as to resort to the behaviours I see on the streets here every day?  Surely this is NOT the best we can do!

Lest we lie to ourselves, each one of us would end up just like that addict, or just like that person suffering from mental illness were we to have been born into the same situation and genetic load and life experiences. To think otherwise is delusion.  "There go I," is the truly compassionate response, and only from there can we begin to ask, "IF that was me, (or, God forbid, my child) what would I want from the society surrounding me to help me get back to my best self?"

Trying to keep my belief in the collective inner wisdom and compassion of our best selves alive in this dark city, and amazed at the density of function and dysfunction,

Namaste!