This sermon did not come out as polished as I had hoped. I realized too late that drawing a parallel between the stranger walking in the church door and the shadow self didn't work as well as I had hoped, for the stranger coming in the door is seen as a positive, while the shadow self is usually considered to be negative. Oh well. I ran out of time. So take what you like and leave the rest.
Welcoming
the Stranger
Rev Alison
Longstaff, March 23, 2014
Bath Church
of the New Jerusalem
Exodus 19: 16-19;23: 9;Matt
25: 34-40; HS 4958
Your
weirdness will make you stronger. Your dark side will keep you whole. Your
vulnerability will connect you to the rest of our suffering world. Your
creativity will set you free. There's nothing wrong with you ― Andrea Balt
When was the
last time you were at a gathering where you knew almost nobody, and yet it
seemed everyone knew everybody else? How
did that feel? Besides perhaps running
away, what did you most want?
When was the
last time you felt uncomfortable in your own skin—perhaps afraid that you were
too weird to be lovable, or too full of mistakes to ever clean it all up?
In our readings today we heard that God
commands us to welcome the stranger. God
commands us to do this. So we
need to ask, what does it mean to welcome the stranger, not just naturally, but
spiritually?
The
“stranger” is the unknown one at the edge of our established group, the
newcomer, the guest. But spiritually, it
is also the unknown, estranged, or outcast parts inside ourselves. These are parts of ourselves that we have
found unacceptable, frightening, or worrisome.
They are also moments, memories, or words and actions in our past of
which we are ashamed or embarrassed, and which we choose to ignore or block
out, rather than integrate with compassion and learning.
What does it
mean to welcome this stranger—the frightening, or new, or alien one, or dark
side of our soul? Well just remember,
something is only dark until the light shines on it. And understanding something brings us a long
way towards no longer fearing it. Even
if we must be watchful around it, like we must be around a bear or a strong
undertow or a hornets nest, the better we understand how such things work and
behave, the better equipped we are for such encounters, and the more likely we will
be to make wise and responsible choices in the face of such encounters. Ignorance and fear are never the better
option.
As for me, I certainly was raised to see my
insides as divisible into good and bad parts, white and black parts, the stuff
that I wanted to show the world and the stuff that I wanted to “shun” (to use a
traditionally Swedenborgian word). It
was all or nothing, good or evil, keep or throw away, be proud of or chop it off. I don’t remember much conversation about the
vast middle ground, which includes all the stuff that needs sifting and sorting,
weighing and waiting, as in the parable of the wheat and “tares” (weeds). It
includes the world of the mixed things that require time and discernment
to sort properly. Which world is vast.
And since my
inner world was organized that way (all good or all bad), I tended to sort people
that way, and I would shun or avoid and have contempt for the ones I had
decided were in the “bad” category. This
made me feel both “good,” and safe from whatever it was I decided was bad about
them. The downside of that way of
viewing people was the flip-side of the message—if other people could be thrown
away, that meant that I could be thrown away too. And that notion terrified me. So I learned a heck of a lot of
people-pleasing and go-along-to-get-along behaviors that looked good on the
outside, but were not particularly enlightened.
These behaviors were fear-based (so I wouldn't be thrown away), and
fear-based things harness our lizard-brain, and our lizard brain is never
spiritual or enlightened.
The more I
study human nature through a Swedenborgian lens, the more I believe that fear
is our greatest teacher and greatest enemy.
It is our darkest darkness. When
Swedenborg says such things as “we are nothing but evil,” and “we are selfish
and worldly,” and “we incline to evils of every kind,” I now understand that to
mean that, left to ourselves, we are scared out of our minds. Of course we are! We are born tiny, naked, hungry, wet, and
powerless! And in our terror we default to our lizard brain, and our lizard
brain is completely unenlightened. That’s when the “selfish and worldly” nature
wins out. But that lizard brain isn’t
our fault. It just is. And it can be overcome.
So rather
than hide and shame and cover up our darkness, maybe we can ask it what it is
most afraid of? For the more you and I can
discover what is really going on underneath our anger or shame, our confusion
or outburst or clumsy remark, the more we can realize that it was never about
who broke the stereo, or who forgot to lock the door, or who said what about who
to whom, and then what she said back, and isn't that terrible…. It is always because we are scared.
We are afraid that we will discover that we really are unlovable. We are afraid that we will be
rejected, because we are too stupid or too untalented or too clumsy or…. We are afraid that we just don't
belong, or that we made a big mistake and everyone will see it and despise us….
The fears are
usually very primitive and pretty much the same across the board.
It is just
how we are. We are not evil; we are
terrified. But the more we practice
seeing what the fears are and the more matter-of-fact we can be about these
things that run inside us, the less we need to cover them up or feel ashamed
about them. Instead we name them and own
them and work on behaving responsibly around them. We waste energy being ashamed of our nature. It is simply how we are made. We need to practice being responsible and
open, which is very different from shaming ourselves and hiding.
Correspondentially,
we are seeing a shift in the world of spiritual thinking to a “healing” model
of spirituality from the more punitive, shaming “compartmentalize and chop the
evil off” model that has reigned so long.
Very much like our advancements in medicine, in which we continue to
develop ways to save body parts that are at risk rather than amputate them, in
spirituality we are learning how to have compassion for, heal, and reintegrate
parts of our personalities and souls that we formerly thought shameful and
irredeemable. For example look at how
alcoholics were viewed and treated seventy years ago compared to today. Then, alcoholics were shamed and blamed for
their condition and considered worthless, hopeless, and lost. Nowadays many alcoholics confess without
shame that they are alcoholics, they seek and get help, and they live useful
lives reintegrated into society acknowledging and behaving responsibly in
relationship with their condition.
And these
recovering alcoholics are the best and wisest angels in supporting, aiding, and
guiding others who struggle with the same disease to find recovery. Their wisdom drawn from their darkness
becomes a potent gift in service to others.
It becomes their strength.
For I was hungry, and you fed me. I was thirsty, and you gave
me a drink. I was a stranger, and you invited me into your home.
Now, how do you behave when a visitor
walks in our church doors? Do you
stare at them and ask another member who it is?
Do you say a quick hello and then scurry off to talk to your comfortable
friends? Or do you get over your
personal shyness and go introduce yourself? Do you remember how hard it is to be in their
shoes, and decide to ease their experience?
Do you try to set them at ease and make them comfortable
because they are a guest in your church home? How good are you at helping newcomers feel
included, respected, safe, and at ease?
Now remember. Every single one of us has some level of
anxiety when it comes to talking to new people.
Every single one. Never assume
you are the only one, and “it is those other people who are comfortable talking
to visitors that should do it.” Those
people that you assume are comfortable making small-talk?—They have worked at
that skill. They have practiced it and
honed it until it looks effortless, but it never starts easy. And for most of us, it takes a serious inner
push for us to reach out to any stranger at any gathering, no matter who or
where we are. I know!
Then remember. It is hard work to come to a new church. It is harder work to keep coming, unless
the people there welcome you back and act truly glad to see you again. Put yourself in the visitor’s shoes and show
hospitality. Be interested in them. Make a point of learning their name and be
glad to see them again, even if you've forgotten their name!
Because, if
you, yes you, commit to being friendlier and kinder to strangers, in
virtually any setting, you will gradually undergo an inner
transformation---where at first you were pasting friendliness on the outside of
yourself and wielding your rehearsed phrases, “Hi, have we met?” “Hello, I’m
Jane church member. Welcome. Is this your first time here?” you will begin
to discover that soon you really care about that other person. Curiosity and compassion will begin to trump
self-consciousness; phrases and questions will flow more easily, and eventually
you will forget yourself in the delight of discovering someone new to know.
Because when you
reach out to another to build relationship, you are reaching out to a facet of God. If you do it to the least among us, you do it
to God—to the goodness in that other, with the hope and prayer that you
might both be blessed by the encounter.
In the past
several years, BCNJ has welcomed God in the form of Wesley Seekamp, and God in
the form of Jody and Lee Evans. We have
welcomed God in the form of the Rudy/Mozak family, and have welcomed back
God in the form of the Trott and Legard families. God willing, we will continue to welcome God
in the form of old friends and new, individuals and families, as folks find
their way to our doors and discover a place of worship that is good for their
souls.
God willing.
God commands
us to welcome the stranger.
So, next time
you find yourself pointing at a stranger and leaning over to a friend to ask in
a whisper, “who is that?’ Be sure to go
the next step and speak to that unknown person face-to-face as soon as you can. Say, “Hi, I am so-and-so. It’s nice to have you here today,” or something
like that. The Holy Spirit is very good
at giving us ideas of what to say. Will
it be uncomfortable sometimes? Yes. Will it be awkward sometimes? Yes.
But it won’t kill you. In fact it
will lead you to more spiritual riches than you can imagine. Get ready.
Treasures beyond treasures await us behind that next set of bright eyes.
Amen
Originally
“How Inclusive Are We?" July 19, 2009
The Readings
Exodus 19:16-19 and 23:9
(NLT)
16 On
the morning of the third day, thunder roared and lightning flashed, and a dense
cloud came down on the mountain. There was a long, loud blast from a ram’s
horn, and all the people trembled. 17 Moses led
them out from the camp to meet with God, and they stood at the foot of the
mountain. 18 All of Mount Sinai was covered with
smoke because the Lord had
descended on it in the form of fire. The smoke billowed into the sky like smoke
from a brick kiln, and the whole mountain shook violently. 19 As
the blast of the ram’s horn grew louder and louder, Moses spoke, and God
thundered his reply.
23:9 “You must not oppress the stranger. You know what it’s like
to be a stranger, for you yourselves were once strangers in the land of Egypt.
Matthew 25: 34-40 “Then the King will say to
those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the
Kingdom prepared for you from the creation of the world. 35 For I was hungry, and you
fed me. I was thirsty, and you gave me a drink. I was a stranger, and you
invited me into your home. 36 I was naked and you clothed Me; I was sick
and you visited Me; I was in prison and you came to Me.’
37 “Then the righteous will answer Him, saying,
‘Lord, when did we see You hungry and feed You, or thirsty and
give You drink? 38 When did we see You
a stranger and take You in, or naked and clothe You? 39 Or
when did we see You sick, or in prison, and come to You?’ 40 And
the King will answer and say to them, ‘Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you
did it to one of the least of these My sisters or brothers,
you did it to Me.’
AC 4958. “Hungering” is referring to a spiritual longing for goodness
because in the internal sense 'bread' is referring to goodness and
loving-kindness, indeed food in general is referring to all goodness.
“Thirsting” is referring to a spiritual longing for truth because in the
internal sense wine (and also water) mean the spiritual truth or the “truth of
faith.” 'A stranger' is referring to one
who wishes to receive spiritual instruction….
Releasing
"Then Jesus asked them, 'When I sent you out without a purse, bag or sandals, did you lack for anything?' 'Nothing,' they answered. Luke 22:35
