“Teach Me to Pray”

Rev. Alison Longstaff, May 18, 2014

Bath Church of the New Jerusalem

Genesis 24: 42-48, 25: 20-21; Mark 10:46-52; HS 2535

Note:  I struggled with the pronouns in this sermon.  Sometimes I use “you” and sometimes “we.”  “We” includes everyone, communicating that we are not alone in these struggles and experiences—that we all deal with them.  But sometimes the situations I am describing are just too specific, and sounded very weird in my ears unless I went to a more singular “you.”  So just know that when I am using “you,” I am not up here pointing a finger down on YOU personally.  “You” simply worked better than “one” or “we.”

In our Scripture readings today we see three examples of prayer, not just of prayer, but of prayer answered completely and miraculously.  Prayer answered completely and miraculously.  Wouldn't that be nice?  How many of you, when you pray, expect your prayers to be answered that way?

In the first story, the servant of Abraham (we aren't told his name) asks for a very specific sign to indicate God’s choice of a wife for Isaac—and he gets it, loud and clear, with all sorts of amazing side details he never imagined.  In the second story, a blind man—Bartimaeus—beseeches Jesus to heal him, despite admonitions from the crowd to be quiet.  The more they shushed him, the louder he cried, until Jesus called him to come over.  Jesus grants Bartimaeus his prayer and heals his blindness.  Just like that.

So, today I want to talk about our prayer lives—yours and mine.  I want to explore why we do and do not pray, what we expect when we pray, who we pray to, and how we deal with disappointment when our prayers seem to go unanswered.

Swedenborg tells us that prayer is speech with God.  It is important then to explore how we actually picture God, not what we say we believe about God, because this directly affects how we talk to God.

What happens if you picture the Lord, (as is the truth) as your best friend?  What if God is right here, right now, next to you, enjoying being with you?  What if God knows everything about you and yet still loves you dearly, just like a best friend?  (As if God would stop loving us if “He” knew our uglier sides.  What part of “omnipresent” says God misses some details of our life?)

When you relax into a heart-friendship with the Lord, you discover that God is exactly that close and that loving.  The Lord is more comfortable and safe than any best friend.  There is no need to fear, because there is nothing to fear. 

So, how would you talk to a best-friend God?  With a best-friend God, prayer really does become conversation.  Have you seen the character Tevye in Fiddler on the Roof, talking to God all the time, about everything?  We can be like that too, discussing everything, our car that won’t start, our sick child, that pain in our right shoulder, our son-in-law that needs another job. Nothing is too big or too small to share.  Everything is on the table. 

The Lord wants us to be that open and comfortable with Him.  Jesus came so that He might show us that He is with us right here.  That’s what “Emmanuel” means: “God WITH us;” Right here, right now. Beside you. Surrounding you. Holding your hand, holding you up, laughing with you, crying with you, watching you when you rest, and cheering you on when you try something new.

Why wouldn't we share everything with our best friend?

There are many things that can get in the way of a healthy prayer life.  We may have been taught incorrect things about prayer, making us afraid to pray in case we do it “wrong.”  We may have some incorrect ideas about God.  Perhaps we think God doesn't care, or that prayer doesn't work.  Maybe we don’t even know what prayer is for.

Most of us, at some point, have tried prayer and had it fail. We might have asked for something as mundane as a certain toy for Christmas, or something as heart-wrenching as a dear friend surviving cancer.  When our prayers go unanswered we can feel abandoned and betrayed by God. Depending on the depth of the loss, that sense of betrayal can turn into a lot of anger—a sort of spiritual temper tantrum.  Anger at God and a refusal even to speak to God, especially after an untimely death is very common.  Is that where you are? 

The interesting thing is, we can be completely mad at God and completely desperate for God’s love at the same time.  Like a child in a tantrum, we can rage at and reject God, yet deeply rely on God’s continued love.  It is hard to wrap our brains around.  We can believe in God and not believe in God at the same time.  As one friend said to me during a rough time, “I don’t know if I even believe in God anymore.” She then finished with a wry grin, “But at least I know God will forgive me for doubting.”

Anyway, if you struggle to believe, don’t judge yourself, you are in good company—Mother Teresa did too, did you know that?  She struggled terribly sometimes.  Doubt and feelings of abandonment and anger at God are all signs of spiritual work.  Doubt and anger are also some of the bigger reasons we might stop talking to God.

We have covered who we pray to, and why we might not pray, and a little about what we expect when we pray.  What about how we pray?

There are many ways to pray: silently in our hearts, openly, speaking out loud, in song, with tears—I have even seen how yoga can serve as body prayer.  We can be meek and mild.  Or we can be like Bartimaeus who cried out and shouted for what he wanted.  (I have done that. Er, in the privacy of my home….) Bartimaeus begged for what he wanted. When everyone around him told him to be quiet—there are plenty of naysayers in life, aren’t there?—he just cried louder and louder until Jesus heard him.  Jesus always heard him, but He allowed Bartimaeus to persist in asking—in pleading—for what he wanted so that Bartimaeus would be completely prepared when his dream came true.

The story of Bartimaeus illustrates the relationship between our side of prayer and God’s side of prayer.  Sometimes we have to ask very loud and for a long time for what we want.  When this is true, it doesn't mean we are doing something wrong.  When we have to wait for an answer, it is God preparing things behind the scenes.  Think of it rather like a four-year-old praying to fly a jet-plane.  God’s answer may be “yes!” but it will still take a long time of growth and learning and development and training before that four-year-old sees that dream realized. That is nobody’s fault.  No one is wrong.  But to the four-year-old, it will look like there’s no answer to that prayer for a loooong time. 

Our job is to pray, beg, SHOUT for what we want; then do everything we can; and then TRUST. We must “pray to catch the bus”, and then “run as fast as we can”; AND we must trust there will be another bus if we miss the one we wanted.  Pray, pursue, let go. God has the much bigger job—arranging things behind the scenes—and we must trust that He is doing his part.

Do you talk to God regularly?  Just like Tevye?  Why or why not?

Well, here’s my next question for you: What if you really did ask for your heart’s desire?  And what if God said “yes?”

I think sometimes the thought of having our dreams come true is far scarier than simply accepting the spiritual scraps we find under the master’s table. 

I was part of a community once that was praying to grow.  They were doing all the right things, setting their intention, working to welcome new people, applying for grants, running fundraisers and working very hard.  Does that sound familiar?  And their efforts started to pay off!  The money came pouring in—more than they had asked for.  New members were coming and staying.  This little congregation was getting what they prayed for.  It was a beautiful time for them.

Unfortunately, as often happens in these stories, the success must have unnerved too many of them.  And for whatever reason, the leadership couldn’t stop the internal sabotage. The positive excitement became fear and manipulation. Squabbling, gossip, and politics took over. Most of the new people trickled away.  Within two years, lack of support or follow-through on the good initiatives reduced the congregation inevitably back to what they had always been—the same tiny group and not enough money. I wouldn’t have believed it if I hadn’t seen it.  We are all capable of this sort of choice.  There is a part in each of us that would rather choose the struggle we know over the scary momentum of success.  While we always have the choice to keep moving forward, sometimes we allow fear to sabotage our efforts.  Success can be really scary.

I can only urge each of us: when God answers a prayer, try to accept the gift and say thank you; rather than running and hiding.

When we, all of us together, set our sights on a dream, and with conviction and determination fight to make it happen, the universe (meaning God) has a crazy way of responding in abundance.  The cup has a tendency to overflow, in fact.  It is one way God works miracles.  It can be kinda scary, but stay with it.  Why miss the ride of your life?

And when your prayer gets answered, stop and pay attention to that.  Notice and remember—put a bookmark in the memory—write it on your heart that God answers prayers.  It is so easy to sink into discouragement and cynicism, especially when things are not going well.  God always answers prayers, but not always with speed. However, every good thing that we ask for we will receive in time, especially when we follow our prayer with committed action.  Miracles can and do happen, despite all the naysayers. 

There is a famous quote by William H. Murray that goes: “The moment one definitively commits oneself, then providence moves too.  All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred.  A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents, meetings and material assistance, which no one would have dreamt would have come their  way.”

Where would Bartimaeus be if he had listened to the naysayers and given up?  

So next time you sit down for a chat with your Best Friend, fasten your seatbelt and prepare for the ride of your life.

Radically revised from a sermon preached October 25, 2009, in Kitchener, Ontario

 Readings:

Genesis 24: 42-48, 25: 20-21  “And this day I came to the well and said, ‘O Lord God of my master Abraham, if You will now prosper the way in which I go, 43 behold, I stand by the well of water; and it shall come to pass that when the virgin comes out to draw water, and I say to her, “Please give me a little water from your pitcher to drink,” 44 and she says to me, “Drink, and I will draw for your camels also,”—let her be the woman whom the Lord has appointed for my master’s son.’

45 “But before I had finished speaking in my heart, there was Rebekah, coming out with her pitcher on her shoulder; and she went down to the well and drew water. And I said to her, ‘Please let me drink.’46 And she made haste and let her pitcher down from her shoulder, and said, ‘Drink, and I will give your camels a drink also.’ So I drank, and she gave the camels a drink also. 47 Then I asked her, and said, ‘Whose daughter are you?’ And she said, ‘The daughter of Bethuel, Nahor’s son, whom Milcah bore to him.’ So I put the nose ring on her nose and the bracelets on her wrists. 48 And I bowed my head and worshiped the Lord, and blessed the Lord God of my master Abraham, who had led me in the way of truth to take the daughter of my master’s brother for his son.

25: 20 Isaac was forty years old when he took Rebekah as wife, the daughter of Bethuel the Syrian of Padan Aram, the sister of Laban the Syrian. 21 Now Isaac pleaded with the Lord for his wife, because she was barren; and the Lord granted his plea, and Rebekah his wife conceived.

Mark 10:46-52

46 Now they came to Jericho. As He went out of Jericho with His disciples and a great multitude, blind Bartimaeus, the son of Timaeus, sat by the road begging. 47 And when he heard that it was Jesus of Nazareth, he began to cry out and say, “Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!”  48 Then many warned him to be quiet; but he cried out all the more, “Son of David, have mercy on me!”  49 So Jesus stood still and commanded him to be called.  Then they called the blind man, saying to him, “Be of good cheer. Rise, He is calling you.”  50 And throwing aside his garment, he rose and came to Jesus.  51 So Jesus answered and said to him, “What do you want Me to do for you?”  The blind man said to Him, “Rabboni, that I may receive my sight.”

52 Then Jesus said to him, “Go your way; your faith has made you well.” And immediately he received his sight and followed Jesus on the road.

Heavenly Secrets #2535 Prayer, regarded in itself, is speech with God.  It involves a concentration on the topic of the prayer.  Then something flows into our perception or thought in answer, such that there is a certain opening of our interiors toward God.  This is different from person to person, according our circumstances, and according to the quality and the reason for our prayer. If we pray in loving-kindness and in trust, and for heavenly and spiritual things, then we receive something like a revelation (which is manifested in our feelings) bringing hope, consolation, and a certain inward joy. - Emanuel Swedenborg