Forgive Us Our Debts

“Forgive Us Our Debts”

Rev. Alison Longstaff, Oct. 13, 2015

Bath Church of the New Jerusalem

Isaiah 40:6-11; Luke 16: 19-31; Heavenly Secrets 6960 

I love researching sermons.  The deeper I delve, the bigger and broader and more amazingly interconnected the insights become.  (It doesn’t get better than being Swedenborgian in my honest opinion.)

Heavenly Secrets 6960. ‘Put your hand into your bosom’ means making truth ones own. This is evident from the meaning of ‘hand’ as power, and from the meaning of ‘bosom’ as love. The chest corresponds to love since the chest holds within it the heart.  We have a sense of ownership of or attachment to the things we love. Therefore ‘the bosom’ symbolizes the things we ‘own’ or identify with, which is the same as the things we love.  For this reason ‘putting a hand into one’s bosom’ here means making something one’s own.  And for this reason 'the bosom’ symbolizes a person’s true self, or all the things with which one identifies or one ‘owns.’ 

“Forgive us our debts.”

I have had this topic on my heart for a while, having listened to many stories of good people struggling with overwhelming debt in the past several years.  I came to Maine with no debt and will be leaving with several thousand in debt, so it is an active personal topic as well. 

According to my book-keeping program, I now have a negative net worth.  I am worth less than nothing.  It doesn’t matter what my character is or my desire to do good, or my kindness, or my life experience.  Put me next to someone who earns more than I do—who owns more than I do—and I can be seen as “worth less” or worthless.  In today’s culture it means I must be less deserving.  That it would tell Jesus the same thing were He among us today is only a little comforting.

“Forgive us our debts.”

Debt weighs heavily on our hearts.  In this culture in particular debt seems to strike at our very sense of human worth, not just material worth.

Take yourself back to a time when you realized that you owed far more than you could pay.  Surely everyone in this room has experienced that bottom-dropping-out sensation—that cold hollow in the gut when you realized you didn’t know how you would repay a debt. Remember that insurmountable bill—that frightening peek into the future that struck at your very sense of worth and capability.  It doesn’t feel good.

To have a hopeless, unpayable debt forgiven, throws us sobbing on our knees.

As I researched this topic, I kept being struck by the relationship of debt with ownership, and Swedenborg’s extensive discussion of what is “our own.”  In spiritual growth circles, phrases have emerged such as “I need to own my part of it,” and “that wasn’t mine to own”.  They are used to describe how we do or don’t take responsibility over our part in misunderstanding and conflict.  Spiritual growth work invites us into greater and greater clarity over what we do and don’t “own” in our relationships. This clarity brings healing to all areas of our lives. We develop the ability to “own” our part rather than “pass the buck” to someone else. 

Spiritual “ownership” means we take responsibility for our contributions to life situations.  We become better and better at managing what is ours and leaving alone what isn’t ours in our relationships with others. We start spending increasing energy on our own spiritual territory and stop spending so much energy on what other people “should” be doing. The metaphor holds strong all the way through.  Our debts are all the things we are refusing to take responsibility for yet which drain our ability to be of service to others.  We need help acknowledging them and learning to manage them. This is far easier than it sounds but it is essential to our happiness.

“Forgive us our debts.”

When the scripture reading from Isaiah says that God carries the lambs in His bosom, it is symbolizing the way God embraces our innocence and vulnerability.  The bosom symbolizes what someone loves most—it is the “heart place.”  The female bosom symbolizes motherly comfort and nourishment; the male bosom symbolizes fatherly protection and strength.  The Divine bosom encapsulates all of these qualities in one and transcends them as well.  Our weakness and ignorance are next to God’s heart.  He carries us tenderly even when we feel weak and unworthy.

When we pledge allegiance, we put our hand to our “bosom.” This shows our willingness to support something we hold dear.  This intuitive act of placing our hand on our heart springs from the spiritual meaning of showing commitment to the things that have the most meaning in our lives. 

Swedenborg tells us that we are what we love.  The things we draw to ourselves represent our desire to “own” or be identified with those things.  Ultimately, everything we pull close represent what we love, and what we love is who we are.  Why would we pull close those things that reflect badly on us, even if we are responsible for their existence?

 “Forgive us our debts.”

We say that phrase every time we say the Lord’s Prayer. It is a simple phase, holding within it such a world of meaning.  We are not asking that God forgive our debts when we pray this.  We are stating the reality of what God is already doing.  Our “debts” are already and continuously forgiven by God.  It is we who cannot forgive our debts.  It is we who feel the shame, and can get caught between denial and self-abuse when we realize how much we “owe” spiritually.  We struggle with all aspects of spiritual ownership. We tend to swing between wanting too much “credit” or wanting none at all even though it is due.  We notice when others “take credit” unduly and we feel the injustice of it.

Where do you lie on the spectrum of ownership of your spiritual worth?  Do you acknowledge the riches you have and use them in wise service, or do you tend to feel undeserving and bury them in the ground? Are your riches repeatedly cast before swine?  When the world wants to hand you responsibility because of your spiritual abilities, do you hide your gifts under a bushel, or do you step up and offer from your bounty?  Or are you the one most likely to give energetically more than you have only to end up needing help yourself or in debt?

Because we all tend to be out of balance in one direction or the other, there is only honor in recognizing yourself in one of these profiles.  “Owning” your tendencies is the first step toward a healthier spiritual “financial portfolio.”  As for me, I am the one who gives away too much.  I repeatedly “spend” too much on helping others, forgetting to leave enough for myself.  There is a false “Christian” cachet associated with this way of living that is not actually helpful.  Another name for an overly-sacrificing style of relationship might be “codependency.” So detrimental can codependency be to healthy relationship, it now has its own twelve step group to aid people in recovery. Far from making everything better as it likes to believe it can, codependence is often as big a part of the problem as what it is trying to help.

And this brings us back to ownership.  If I am too ashamed to “own” the ways I am codependent, but instead pass responsibility onto others, (blaming) I will never get free of my spiritual “debts.”  Only by owning my part in each problem to the best of my ability (but no more than my part) can I help restore my relationships to their rightful balance.  Even if those around me are wobbling in their balance, the more stable and healthy I am in myself, the more I make space for others to find their balance.  The only debt I can own is my own.  The only contribution I am responsible for is my own.  And because we are all so interconnected, the more stable and balanced I become, the more easily those around me can find their own balance.

“Forgive us our debts.”

My grandfather kept a little black book on each of his eight children, tallying what they were costing him as they grew up. Imagine the emotional impact that must have had on those seven little girls and one little boy.  One day my grandmother, who rarely stood up to her charismatic but often violently angry husband, threw those books in the fire.  He never raised a hand to her, they say.

A chasm of unworthiness existed in the heart of my grandfather. He could not forgive himself for whatever he thought was so completely unlovable inside himself, so he spread harsh judgment and blame onto those around him.  A terrible accuser existed inside his own consciousness, placing on him a sense of debt so great he could never get out from under it.  He could not love his children because he could not love himself.  I don’t know what wound he carried, but I don’t believe he ever forgave himself on this earth. He died of a massive heart attack at age forty eight.  My prayer is that he found the self-forgiveness he needed in the life to come.

 

“Forgive us our debts.”

God would no more keep a book of deposits and debits on our spiritual account than would any loving parent.  Imagine saying to a newborn, “Well, it will be twenty thousand for the hospital fees; another ten thousand for the prenatal visits, blood-tests, and ultrasounds; then there was the six hundred for the maternity wardrobe; two hundred for the prenatal vitamins; and we haven’t even begun to add up the costs of diapers, immunizations, clothing, school costs, university….  Will that be check or credit card?”

We can never repay our “debt” to God, but it isn’t about debt, with God.  It is we who cannot forgive our debts, not God.  We are born profoundly imperfect, frightened, and ignorant.  We then inherit whatever the family legacy might be, be it privilege and loving support or blame, abuse, and addiction, or something in between.  If we leave this life having made any progress on the spiritual family legacy, I count it as a win. Besides, no one can see our spiritual balance sheets but God anyway.

And God forgave our debts before we were born.

Amen

The Readings

Isaiah 40: 6-11

The voice said, “Cry out!”

And I said, “What shall I cry?”

“All flesh is grass, And all its loveliness is like the flower of the field. The grass withers, the flower fades, because the breath of the Lord blows upon it; surely the people are grass. The grass withers, the flower fades, but the word of our God stands forever.”

O Zion, You who bring good tidings, get up into the high mountain;

O Jerusalem, You who bring good tidings, lift up your voice with strength. Lift it up, be not afraid;
Say to the cities of Judah, “Behold your God!”

Behold, the Lord God shall come with a strong hand, and His arm shall rule for Him;

Behold, His reward is with Him, and His work before Him.

He will feed His flock like a shepherd; He will gather the lambs with His arm, and carry them in His bosom, and gently lead those who are with young.

Luke 16:19-31

“There was a rich man who was dressed in purple and fine linen and lived in luxury every day. At his gate was laid a beggar named Lazarus, covered with sores and longing to eat what fell from the rich man’s table. Even the dogs came and licked his sores.

“The time came when the beggar died and the angels carried him to Abraham’s side. The rich man also died and was buried. In Hades, where he was in torment, he looked up and saw Abraham far away, with Lazarus in his bosom. So he called to him, ‘Father Abraham, have pity on me and send Lazarus to dip the tip of his finger in water and cool my tongue, because I am in agony in this fire.’

“But Abraham replied, ‘Son, remember that in your lifetime you received your good things, while Lazarus received bad things, but now he is comforted here and you are in agony. And besides all this, between us and you a great chasm has been set in place, so that those who want to go from here to you cannot, nor can anyone cross over from there to us.’

“He answered, ‘Then I beg you, father, send Lazarus to my family, for I have five brothers. Let him warn them, so that they will not also come to this place of torment.’

“Abraham replied, ‘They have Moses and the Prophets; let them listen to them.’

“‘No, father Abraham,’ he said, ‘but if someone from the dead goes to them, they will repent.’

“He said to him, ‘If they do not listen to Moses and the Prophets, they will not be convinced even if someone rises from the dead.’”