Pushing the Stream or Riding the Wave

Push? or Rest? When to do which?

Feb 12, 2016

As I sit here in my warm-enough space on this coldest of February days, I am reflecting on today's fatigue and discouragement.

A motivational post this morning encouraged me to "pull up my socks" and "get on with it" if I was discouraged; yet I know, deep in my heart, that that is not the answer for me today.

Once again I am in waiting mode.  The bitter cold outside emphasizes the "full-stop" feeling inside me.

I battle this energy a lot, and wonder what it has to teach me that I have not yet learned.  The messages around me---the predominant message of this culture---is "Push! Push! Push!" "Try! Try! Try!" "If nothing is happening, try HARDER!"

"Push! Push! Push!" "Try! Try! Try!" "If nothing is happening, try HARDER!" 

Those messages live deep in my own soul. I have never been keen on waiting for much of anything.  "Push!"  "Try!"  "Do!"

And yet the very energy of life is saying to me today, "Rest.  Renew.  It isn't time for pushing yet."

Why is that so hard to trust?

I have spent many lifetimes trying to "push" the stream of life. It has never been successful.  Instead, life seems to involve working with the waves and rhythms of life well, and harnessing them, not telling life how it should flow or trying to make it be different.

Again and again, I must learn the ways I am powerless in life.  I must learn to work with what I am given---seasonally, situationally, physically, and rhythmically. I must learn when to move and when to wait and rest---according to my instincts and the situation.

There is no point planting crops in the dead of winter.  There is no point trying to surf on a calm sea.  And there is no point trying to run a marathon (or even walk a mile) when one has just broken one's legs in a skiing accident.

Take it from the queen of pushing.  Sometimes NOT pushing is the better thing.

My personality is much happier doing than not doing, so pushing comes much easier than resisting the urge, and in this lies a metaphor for me and others like me.  The nurses had to teach me NOT to push  during one of my labors, even though I felt the urge.  Pushing at that time could have inflamed the cervix because I wasn't fully dilated, slowing or even preventing the birth.  Instead the nurses helped me breathe and resist the the urge to push until conditions were ready.

Until conditions were ready. 

Waiting for hospitable conditions does make a lot of sense.  When the conditions are good, all we need to do is ride the wave, harness the wind, or follow the urge to push.

The space in between resting and "riding the wave" does include a certain pushing that is good for us.  Taking a step towards one's goals might be exactly what is needed for you today.  Only you can know what is right for you.  There is an important practice that includes showing up for the work even if the conditions aren't perfect.  Writers must write, even when they aren't "feeling it."  All activities have their less than exciting stages---the "meh" surfing days, so to speak.  Logging those mediocre hours does get us to our goal, so long as we are not ignoring our need for rest.

If conditions are adequate, you have the option to paddle and row, or rest and renew.  It takes experience and wisdom to know which is better for you.

Then when ALL conditions are perfect, we simply ride the energy and it all comes easily.  Oh, to feel that way again!  It has been a LONG wait.

Until then, it is okay to rest.  REST is even strongly recommended in several bodies of spiritual teaching.  The resting pose in yoga is considered one of the most important and most overlooked.

I cannot push the stream of life.  I cannot make progress by blowing on my sail.  I cannot force Spring to come sooner by plowing the frozen ground and trying to plant seeds in it.

In fact, I cannot "mind-over-matter" or "sheer force of will" most of life's circumstances, no matter how much I wish I could.

"Push" except when it isn't right to push.  "Rest" except when it isn't helpful to rest.  Ride the joy every chance you get, but don't blame yourself if the joy seems to avoid you.  It may not be your fault.

Whatever your choices today, may you find self-understanding and compassion. May you become adept at learning the responses that help you progress toward your dreams, even if it is not-doing, or resting.

Today, I am breathing.  Today I am noticing how much I wish I was anywhere else than here (exhausted from over-doing, and anxious to "get it all done").  Today I am resting and waiting for the energetic Spring to come back, for the waves to pick me up and carry me, and for the wind to fill my sails once more.

Namaste,
Alison