Freedom Manifesto

The following is the result of an assignment for my yoga certification. Publishing it was encouraged, so here it is:

Alison Moore’s Freedom Manifesto

My desire for my life going forward is curiosity, compassion and a belief in transformation through creativity and play. I desire this to be my underlying resting state.

FREEDOM comes when I feel that I have choices and agency---when I feel I can change things that don’t work, and improve conditions that are not optimal. In the yogic principle of the union of opposites, the balancing attitude that I desire to cultivate is the simple acceptance of “what is.” These two attitudes may seem opposite (acceptance of what is vs desire for change), and yet I believe a healthy, balanced union of these two will bring me the greatest joy and serenity going forward.

“Acceptance of what is” shows up in compassionate non-judgment of what my body is able to do each day. Whether I experience a “good” practice full of obvious progress and feelings of strength and sweetness, or I navigate a “bad” practice because my energy is low and my asanas appear regressed, I wish to be peacefully present to what is. I wish to carry into each practice the knowledge that every single practice matters, and that the way I treat myself in a practice is the measure of the success of the practice, not how far I could extend or contract in a given asana.

Now, when I see something about myself that I want to change, I desire to notice it with curiosity and serenity. I want to say, “Huh. Interesting!” I want to have the willingness to approach the area that needs work with compassion and optimism and a sense of possibility. Previously I approached it with shame and the fear of what everyone else “must” think of me. My impulse was to hide the shortcoming or failure as quickly as possible. I do not wish to operate from fear of judgment or shame or a desire to hide anymore.

I want to continue to develop PERSPECTIVE or a “long view” which will keep me serene in the face of new challenges. Each challenge in the past has been surmounted, no matter how insurmountable each seemed at the time. When I remember this, I can face new challenges with more curiosity and creativity, and less fearful projections of “certain failure” and dire outcomes. “I got through those things and I can get through this.”

In relationships, I desire to be as authentic and “whole” as possible in each moment. This means I desire to own every piece of my life, and to tell the truth about my experiences with compassion and honesty. “The truth” is never harsh or unkind. It is neutral. The harsh or unkind comes when I attach blame or judgment or shame.  A whole lot of my work to this point has been in becoming free of extensive inner self-abuse and fearful thinking.  As these decrease, new space for honesty, clarity and compassion opens up.

As a speaker and teacher, I desire to lead from my vulnerability. I believe that this makes a space for truthful vulnerability in others. I wish to create SAFE spaces, which invite radical honesty and compassion and self-ownership in students and clients. My dream is that I will invite to these qualities and teach about these qualities and model these qualities as naturally as breathing. The goal of this shared vulnerability and mutual respect is REST.

To rest from hiding. To rest from pretending. To rest from struggling. To be FREE.

What would Brene Brown do?

When I show up with compassion and authenticity and a long perspective, life becomes lighter and easier. I am more patient and laugh more easily.

Authenticity is my freedom.  May I remain open to continuing the work gently and steadily that I might ever move into greater and greater authenticity.

January 13, 2018

Pushing the Stream or Riding the Wave

Push? or Rest? When to do which?

Feb 12, 2016

As I sit here in my warm-enough space on this coldest of February days, I am reflecting on today's fatigue and discouragement.

A motivational post this morning encouraged me to "pull up my socks" and "get on with it" if I was discouraged; yet I know, deep in my heart, that that is not the answer for me today.

Once again I am in waiting mode.  The bitter cold outside emphasizes the "full-stop" feeling inside me.

I battle this energy a lot, and wonder what it has to teach me that I have not yet learned.  The messages around me---the predominant message of this culture---is "Push! Push! Push!" "Try! Try! Try!" "If nothing is happening, try HARDER!"

"Push! Push! Push!" "Try! Try! Try!" "If nothing is happening, try HARDER!" 

Those messages live deep in my own soul. I have never been keen on waiting for much of anything.  "Push!"  "Try!"  "Do!"

And yet the very energy of life is saying to me today, "Rest.  Renew.  It isn't time for pushing yet."

Why is that so hard to trust?

I have spent many lifetimes trying to "push" the stream of life. It has never been successful.  Instead, life seems to involve working with the waves and rhythms of life well, and harnessing them, not telling life how it should flow or trying to make it be different.

Again and again, I must learn the ways I am powerless in life.  I must learn to work with what I am given---seasonally, situationally, physically, and rhythmically. I must learn when to move and when to wait and rest---according to my instincts and the situation.

There is no point planting crops in the dead of winter.  There is no point trying to surf on a calm sea.  And there is no point trying to run a marathon (or even walk a mile) when one has just broken one's legs in a skiing accident.

Take it from the queen of pushing.  Sometimes NOT pushing is the better thing.

My personality is much happier doing than not doing, so pushing comes much easier than resisting the urge, and in this lies a metaphor for me and others like me.  The nurses had to teach me NOT to push  during one of my labors, even though I felt the urge.  Pushing at that time could have inflamed the cervix because I wasn't fully dilated, slowing or even preventing the birth.  Instead the nurses helped me breathe and resist the the urge to push until conditions were ready.

Until conditions were ready. 

Waiting for hospitable conditions does make a lot of sense.  When the conditions are good, all we need to do is ride the wave, harness the wind, or follow the urge to push.

The space in between resting and "riding the wave" does include a certain pushing that is good for us.  Taking a step towards one's goals might be exactly what is needed for you today.  Only you can know what is right for you.  There is an important practice that includes showing up for the work even if the conditions aren't perfect.  Writers must write, even when they aren't "feeling it."  All activities have their less than exciting stages---the "meh" surfing days, so to speak.  Logging those mediocre hours does get us to our goal, so long as we are not ignoring our need for rest.

If conditions are adequate, you have the option to paddle and row, or rest and renew.  It takes experience and wisdom to know which is better for you.

Then when ALL conditions are perfect, we simply ride the energy and it all comes easily.  Oh, to feel that way again!  It has been a LONG wait.

Until then, it is okay to rest.  REST is even strongly recommended in several bodies of spiritual teaching.  The resting pose in yoga is considered one of the most important and most overlooked.

I cannot push the stream of life.  I cannot make progress by blowing on my sail.  I cannot force Spring to come sooner by plowing the frozen ground and trying to plant seeds in it.

In fact, I cannot "mind-over-matter" or "sheer force of will" most of life's circumstances, no matter how much I wish I could.

"Push" except when it isn't right to push.  "Rest" except when it isn't helpful to rest.  Ride the joy every chance you get, but don't blame yourself if the joy seems to avoid you.  It may not be your fault.

Whatever your choices today, may you find self-understanding and compassion. May you become adept at learning the responses that help you progress toward your dreams, even if it is not-doing, or resting.

Today, I am breathing.  Today I am noticing how much I wish I was anywhere else than here (exhausted from over-doing, and anxious to "get it all done").  Today I am resting and waiting for the energetic Spring to come back, for the waves to pick me up and carry me, and for the wind to fill my sails once more.

Namaste,
Alison

Yoga For The Soul

On Sunday, July 27th we concluded our three-part series entitled “Yoga for the Soul.”

The series was entitled “Yoga for the Soul” for a few reasons.

I have been learning and practicing yoga since about 2007, and it has been transformative both physically and spiritually.    My physical practice gives me information about my spiritual practice. This means, how I am with myself on the yoga mat is just how I am with myself in life.  Am I comparing myself to others?  Do I take a lot of pride in poses that come easily?  Do I “beat up” on myself if a movement or posture is hard?  Do I set my goals too high, and then decide I am a failure when I cannot achieve them quickly and easily?  Do I give up too easily?  The lessons go on and on.

At BCNJ, we are trying to develop good spiritual habits, and these take practice, self-observation and time as well.  When we are intentionally trying to grow and mature in our spirits, we are doing inner yoga, or yoga for our souls.  Just like physical yoga, spiritual yoga can be sometimes a struggle and sometimes restful, sometimes uncomfortable and sometimes pleasurable, sometimes quite easy and sometimes it seems quite impossible.

Our specific topic was Sabbath rest.  Taking our rest is almost pathologically difficult for many of us.  The final pose in many yoga traditions is “resting pose.”  It involves lying quietly on one’s back and letting all worries melt away.  And yet it is often considered unimportant—it is often skipped—when it is one of the most difficult and most important poses of all.  Like giving ourselves Sabbath rest, the resting pose is often overlooked, skimped on, or forgotten.  I include myself in this description!  I struggle with allowing myself true spiritual rest time.  Yet God actually commands us to “remember” Sabbath rest.

Sabbath rest can look like quiet time—just spending time with ourselves without distraction or entertainment.  MANY of us find that hard to do.  But it can also look like various forms of playful creative exploration.  It can be improvisational movement, or journaling, drawing, or humming something new.  It can be almost anything that brings on an altered state (without drugs!). It can happen while gardening or running, knitting or cycling, meditating, reading sacred scripture, or even while building a jigsaw puzzle.

Yet we resist allowing ourselves this play and rest—this TRUE, spiritual play and rest, (not just solitaire on the computer).  In our sessions we discussed what we found spiritually restorative; why and how we resisted spiritual rest; and what we might do to clear the blocks and remember to include spiritually restful times in our busy schedules.

May your summer continue to be restful and restorative!

Peace, Rev. Alison