Cain and Abel and the Stages of Spirituality

So, I’m a student of the Psychology of Religion.

Scholars have done studies on the developmental stages of faith—meaning there ARE stages of faith from less mature to more mature. Early stages rely on an external authority. They are very rules-based and about doing things “right” according to the authority and the rules. There is usually an innocence or naïveté because folks don’t know better, they can’t be more progressive yet, and they absolutely want to be “saved".

The hardest shift is between level 3 and level 4 spirituality (according to James Fowler) when a person shifts from an external authority to an internal authority, and from a head-based religion to a heart-based religion. (Richard Rohr simplifies it as early life—stages 1, 2, 3—and later life—stages 4 and up.) The people around them who are still in a rules- and authority-based religion are particularly threatened by their shift and do not understand it. I liken it to learning to swim. People who have not learned to swim cling to the side of the pool and call out in fear at their loved ones who are starting to let go and swim in the water.

(Does this information help in understanding the ways people do religion that can be so different?)

If you are raised by people who are in stage 4 or higher level of spiritual development, you still have to go through your own stages, but everything about the way they live encourages you to move into a thoughtful, heart-based approach to life. But if you are raised by people who are “clinging to the side of the pool” in an authoritative “you will only be safe if you stick with us” religion, it is much much harder to take the next developmental step into heart-wisdom, because most of the people around you are screaming that you are going to “die”. They don't want you to notice all the people that you’re finding who are living from their hearts and yet are not "dead".

This theory has helped me a lot in understanding why people do religion the way they do. Levels five and higher in spiritual development don’t even look like “religion”, because they are so respectful of the individual spiritual journey. They tend to be empowering, not controlling.

How is this connected to Cain and Abel? (Genesis 4)

My childhood tradition's teachings say that Cain represents “the need to be right” and Abel represents “being loving from deep wisdom.” They are brothers because they are ways of doing religion. Cain is born first (early spirituality) and Abel second (later life spirituality). Cain resents and does not understand why God favors Abel (the more mature and genuine spirituality). Cain is threatened by Abel and wants God's favor too, not understanding the shifts he still has to make in his motivations and perspective. And threatened, Cain “kills” Abel thinking that that is the way to win God's attention and favor (someone clearly isn't reading the manual). Cain-energy in life will always kill Abel-energy. Judgy, controlling, need-to-be-perfect-and-right ways of doing religion (or politics) will always attack and criticize and invalidate loving, inclusive, service-focused ways of doing religion (and politics). It’s just the way people are. There's a foundational shift that needs to happen from "I've got mine, screw you" to "We are all in this together; if you are suffering, we are all suffering".

We all have a tendency to be drawn into the need to be right and "win" arguments. We value a sense of cognitive security and don't like perspectives that threaten our foundational narrative of how life (God, "salvation") works. Arguing with someone about how they are wrong is rarely effective because they are so emotionally invested in "staying alive" (maintaining the reality they have known and trusted until this point).

If you don't know how to swim, moving into deep water means death.

Questioning religious dogma is moving into deep water. It is essential that we learn to swim so as to be much freer and to realize how life-giving swimming can be. But everything in Cain-level development screams "death!" unless you are surrounded by loving swimmers encouraging you to try swimming.

The same way you can't teach a child to read until they have reached reading readiness, you can't force a lower level spiritual seeker to be ready to think for themselves until they are ready AND feel safe enough to try. Some birds are pushed from the nest, some fly with sufficient encouragement, but some have parents telling them that flying equals death.

So just love everybody to bits.

Try not to judge because people are (possibly stuck) where they are for good reason.

Learn to draw firm boundaries with those who want to push their beliefs on you (spiritual violation) even as you stop trying to push your beliefs onto others (still a spiritual violation, no matter how "right" you are).

This is my distillation of theology and psychology. It is not to be used as a club to force others to agree. Just a balm and guide for those who need a helpful perspective.

For more scholarship on the stages of faith you might start here:

https://www.institute4learning.com/2020/06/12/the-stages-of-faith-according-to-james-w-fowler/

For counseling and empowerment on your spiritual journey, you may contact me here:

https://pastoralison.com/

I do talk therapy as well as weddings.

“Don't Believe; Be LOVE”

Rev. Alison Longstaff, April 27, 2014

Bath Church of the New Jerusalem

Psalm 16; John 20:19-31; Heavenly Secrets 1799:4

Today we heard the story of Thomas—of the famous “doubting Thomas” who needed to see and feel and touch the risen Lord, in order to believe in His resurrection. Doubting Thomas, the one who needed proof, the one who prompted God to say, “Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have come to believe.”

Believe. Belief. What is belief? In our culture, we have come to define belief as “confidence in something’s accuracy.” It is a purely mental exercise which involves approval of something as true. “Belief” in Christian circles has taken on such an identification with the rightness of ideas that it has become pretty well divorced from our heart reality and how we live. Indeed, we Christians seem to be reduced quite easily to squabbles over minute differences in our theologies when we could be working in harmony to live and love better, to reduce the suffering on our planet. We seem to prefer to spend our time getting huffy and drawing up battle lines over our different theological interpretations. We kick the beggars into the ditch in order to make more room for us to fight. What ever happened to us beating our swords into plowshares?

Belief. The original meaning of “belief” was not so much about ideas or statements of truth as it was about love. The origins of the word “belief” can be traced back to Proto-Germanic, and it was based on a root word for love. The German word “liebe,” which means “love” comes from the same source. Indeed, “believe” could be translated into “be-love” which is much closer to what it really meant. It was about living what we loved. It was about committing to a way of life. The original Christians “believers” committed themselves to a life of love and service to their neighbours, not to a framework of theological theories.

They committed to caring for the widows, the orphans, and the homeless because they loved the vision of a world transformed by such a life. They saw themselves in the homeless and widows, and they treated them as they would want to be treated. The way they lived was a commitment to the Golden Rule in every corner of their lives. How the meaning of the word “belief” has changed through the ages!

There is an old story from first century Palestine of a mischievous man who asked Rabbi Hillel, a famous rabbi of that time, to teach him Judaism while standing on one foot. So, while standing on one foot, Rabbi Hillel responded: "Don't do to others what you wouldn't have them do to you. That is all the Torah (God’s Word); all the rest is commentary.”

What a great story. I believe it speaks to all faiths of all time. Christianity can be simplified to the same basic tenet. It is about treating others as we would like to be treated.

What we are talking about is compassion. Compassion, which could be another translation for the “good will to all people” that is prophesied by the host of angels to the shepherds. Wouldn’t this indeed bring peace on earth, “good will to all people”? 

The Dalai Lama has stated: “If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.” More than one scholar has observed that the fundamental uniting element of all the major world religions is the Golden Rule–to do unto others as we would have them do unto us. How would the world be different if only we all lived according to it!

Our rules and creeds and theological theories tend to divide us. Our hearts and love and human compassion tend to unite us. It is this realization that brings a whole new meaning to the Lord’s words to Thomas, “Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have come to believe.” It speaks to our tendency to be exclusive in our Christianity. It could be read as, “Blessed are those who have not met and come to love Jesus Christ as their Saviour and still have come to live a life of goodness and compassion.” Indeed, wouldn’t such people, be they Buddhist or Jewish or agnostic, by virtue of living the golden rule, find their lives and relationships transformed in blessed ways regardless of what religious organisation has their signature of membership? I would imagine their lives are certainly more peaceful than that of any Christian “believers” who are busy squabbling and fighting over points of dogma. Who would you say is more blessed?

And so it is with you and I, be we Swedenborgian or Seventh Day Adventist, Unitarian or UCC, Catholic or Christian Reformed; we will find we are blessed by living the Golden Rule, regardless of our denominational affiliation. People of faith the world over do not necessarily believe every word of their traditional creeds, but they belong because they long for a blessed life. They long for belonging, and for their lives to have meaning and purpose. We belong, because we need community and we long for meaning. Don’t we all, especially when we are feeling that our own efforts are getting us nowhere, long to believe that there is some transformative power for good in the universe that can set things right, because our efforts repeatedly fall short?

Author and speaker Karen Armstrong has found that when we commit to a spiritual way of living, we are transformed by that commitment and by the living of it. It is in the practice of living a way of love that brings transformation, that lets us glimpse God. It is through ministry to others that we can feel the sense of what is sacred. Just as we experience in the Holy Communion, a very mundane act can become transcendent, and we can feel God’s presence.

So, to believe is to be love.  “Believing” is not when I say with my lips how I understand God, but when I show with my hands and my feet how I understand God’s love in the world.  When we commit to living the Golden Rule, the process of doing so brings God’s grace into our lives.  Though our culture says “belief” means “trust in certain ideas,” we have seen that believing is not and cannot be separated from how we live and how we love.  When we commit to living a compassionate or “Golden Rule” way of life, it changes us.  

Now, back to doubting Thomas. Doubting Thomas needed to see and feel God’s wounds in order to believe. I have tended to judge him for that. When I have heard this passage, I have liked to think I would be one of the blessed who believes without seeing, not the obnoxious one who needs proof. But the thing is, lately I realize how much I do identify with Thomas. Sometimes I want physical proof that my God has not died and is still with me. I would guess, whether we like to admit it or not, that we all go through this at some time or other in our lives. But perhaps this is why Thomas is part of the story. Perhaps he is exactly part of the story to reassure us and remind us that we are still lovable despite our doubts, because we all tend to have times of terrible doubt. Maybe it is okay to need a little personal attention from our God to get us through. Jesus doesn’t begrudge us anything if it will bring us closer to Him. He comes right to us where we are to show us his hands and feet and side if that is what we need. I have needed to learn not to judge myself for struggling to believe. 

Belief is such a struggle sometimes exactly because it is an action of the heart, not just the head. It is related to the word dis-couragement, which comes from the French word “coeur” for heart. When we are dis-heartened, God comes and en-courages us.  He fills our hearts up again. Whatever it takes.  So, if you find yourself struggling with doubt, don’t judge yourself.  Know that you are loved every step of the way.  Doubt is part of the story too.  In fact, doubt often serves to deepen our faith and compassion, which is exactly what we are on earth to do.   We are here to Be Love.  That is the way to be blessed and be a blessing.

“believe”. Dictionary.com. Online Etymology Dictionary. Douglas Harper, Historian. http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/believe (accessed: March 26, 2008).

Originally preached March 30, 2008, St James Lutheran, New Dundee, Ontario

Readings:

Psalm 16 Keep me safe, O God, for in you I take refuge.  I said to the LORD, "You are my Lord; apart from you I have no good thing."  As for the saints who are in the land, they are the glorious ones in whom is all my delight.  The sorrows of those will increase who run after other gods. I will not pour out their libations of blood or take up their names on my lips.  LORD, you have assigned me my portion and my cup; you have made my lot secure.  The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance.  I will praise the LORD, who counsels me; even at night my heart instructs me.  I have set the LORD always before me. Because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken.  Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body also will rest secure, because you will not abandon me to the grave, nor will you let your Holy One see decay.  You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.

John 20:19-31  On the evening of that first day of the week, when the disciples were together, with the doors locked for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood among them and said, "Peace be with you!" After he said this, he showed them his hands and side. The disciples were overjoyed when they saw the Lord.  Again Jesus said, "Peace be with you! As the Father has sent me, I am sending you."  And with that he breathed on them and said, "Receive the Holy Spirit.  If you forgive anyone his sins, they are forgiven; if you do not forgive them, they are not forgiven."

Now Thomas (called “the twin”), one of the Twelve, was not with the disciples when Jesus came. So the other disciples told him, "We have seen the Lord!" But he said to them, "Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe it."  A week later his disciples were in the house again, and Thomas was with them. Though the doors were locked, Jesus came and stood among them and said, "Peace be with you!"  Then he said to Thomas, "Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe."  Thomas said to him, "My Lord and my God!"  Then Jesus told him, "Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed."  Jesus did many other miraculous signs in the presence of his disciples, which are not recorded in this book.  But these are written that you may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, and that by believing you may have life in his name.

Heavenly Secrets 1799:4

In the Christian world it is our doctrines that cause our churches to be distinct and separate, and because of these we call ourselves “Roman Catholics”, “Lutherans”, “Calvinists” or “Reformed”, “Evangelical”, as well as many other names.  It is only because of our doctrines that we are called by these names.

This situation would never exist if we made love for the Lord and charity towards the neighbor the most important part of faith.  If that were so, our doctrinal differences would be no more than shades of opinion over the many arcana of faith, which truly Christian people would leave to individual conscience.

In our hearts we would then say that a person is truly a Christian if he or she lives as a Christian, that is, as Christ teaches.  If this were so, all the different churches would become one, and all the disagreements, which stem only from doctrine, would disappear.  Indeed, the hatred that one person holds against another would be dispelled in an instant, and the Lord’s kingdom on earth would come.