Cain and Abel and the Stages of Spirituality

So, I’m a student of the Psychology of Religion.

Scholars have done studies on the developmental stages of faith—meaning there ARE stages of faith from less mature to more mature. Early stages rely on an external authority. They are very rules-based and about doing things “right” according to the authority and the rules. There is usually an innocence or naïveté because folks don’t know better, they can’t be more progressive yet, and they absolutely want to be “saved".

The hardest shift is between level 3 and level 4 spirituality (according to James Fowler) when a person shifts from an external authority to an internal authority, and from a head-based religion to a heart-based religion. (Richard Rohr simplifies it as early life—stages 1, 2, 3—and later life—stages 4 and up.) The people around them who are still in a rules- and authority-based religion are particularly threatened by their shift and do not understand it. I liken it to learning to swim. People who have not learned to swim cling to the side of the pool and call out in fear at their loved ones who are starting to let go and swim in the water.

(Does this information help in understanding the ways people do religion that can be so different?)

If you are raised by people who are in stage 4 or higher level of spiritual development, you still have to go through your own stages, but everything about the way they live encourages you to move into a thoughtful, heart-based approach to life. But if you are raised by people who are “clinging to the side of the pool” in an authoritative “you will only be safe if you stick with us” religion, it is much much harder to take the next developmental step into heart-wisdom, because most of the people around you are screaming that you are going to “die”. They don't want you to notice all the people that you’re finding who are living from their hearts and yet are not "dead".

This theory has helped me a lot in understanding why people do religion the way they do. Levels five and higher in spiritual development don’t even look like “religion”, because they are so respectful of the individual spiritual journey. They tend to be empowering, not controlling.

How is this connected to Cain and Abel? (Genesis 4)

My childhood tradition's teachings say that Cain represents “the need to be right” and Abel represents “being loving from deep wisdom.” They are brothers because they are ways of doing religion. Cain is born first (early spirituality) and Abel second (later life spirituality). Cain resents and does not understand why God favors Abel (the more mature and genuine spirituality). Cain is threatened by Abel and wants God's favor too, not understanding the shifts he still has to make in his motivations and perspective. And threatened, Cain “kills” Abel thinking that that is the way to win God's attention and favor (someone clearly isn't reading the manual). Cain-energy in life will always kill Abel-energy. Judgy, controlling, need-to-be-perfect-and-right ways of doing religion (or politics) will always attack and criticize and invalidate loving, inclusive, service-focused ways of doing religion (and politics). It’s just the way people are. There's a foundational shift that needs to happen from "I've got mine, screw you" to "We are all in this together; if you are suffering, we are all suffering".

We all have a tendency to be drawn into the need to be right and "win" arguments. We value a sense of cognitive security and don't like perspectives that threaten our foundational narrative of how life (God, "salvation") works. Arguing with someone about how they are wrong is rarely effective because they are so emotionally invested in "staying alive" (maintaining the reality they have known and trusted until this point).

If you don't know how to swim, moving into deep water means death.

Questioning religious dogma is moving into deep water. It is essential that we learn to swim so as to be much freer and to realize how life-giving swimming can be. But everything in Cain-level development screams "death!" unless you are surrounded by loving swimmers encouraging you to try swimming.

The same way you can't teach a child to read until they have reached reading readiness, you can't force a lower level spiritual seeker to be ready to think for themselves until they are ready AND feel safe enough to try. Some birds are pushed from the nest, some fly with sufficient encouragement, but some have parents telling them that flying equals death.

So just love everybody to bits.

Try not to judge because people are (possibly stuck) where they are for good reason.

Learn to draw firm boundaries with those who want to push their beliefs on you (spiritual violation) even as you stop trying to push your beliefs onto others (still a spiritual violation, no matter how "right" you are).

This is my distillation of theology and psychology. It is not to be used as a club to force others to agree. Just a balm and guide for those who need a helpful perspective.

For more scholarship on the stages of faith you might start here:

https://www.institute4learning.com/2020/06/12/the-stages-of-faith-according-to-james-w-fowler/

For counseling and empowerment on your spiritual journey, you may contact me here:

https://pastoralison.com/

I do talk therapy as well as weddings.

Redundancies, Illness, and Spiritual Self Care

Dearest fellow humans,

A few years ago I had my old laptop in the shop due to its increased slowness and occasional freezing sessions.  I asked the technician why a computer slows down, rather than just stops when it is near death. It is a machine.  Why does it go from speedy to sluggish, like a human, rather than just stop working?

The technician explained things this way:  New computers have many redundancies built in.  If the information can't travel by one path, it takes another, or another, until it finishes its journey.

But as computers age, wear and tear on the circuitry begin to eliminate some of the redundancies. There are fewer and fewer paths for the information to travel on, which makes for traffic jams and longer, more complicated journeys.  The circuits get overwhelmed---rather like baristas at high-traffic Starbucks when mobile ordering became a thing.  It takes more time to do the same things it used to do with speed.

Whether this is an accurate metaphor for the inner workings of an old computer or not, it struck me that it serves as a metaphor for human functioning---especially for the functioning of humans with invisible illnesses.  We seek to function as normally as possible, but we have far fewer "redundancies" upon which to rely, and so we get slowed down and overwhelmed far faster than those blessed with robust health.

Then I began to reflect on the probability that a lot of us have found one or another of the demands of our society overwhelming, and have had to find work-arounds to keep on going.  I think of those with dyslexia, or those with brains that refuse to do math (tax time!) or those with PTSD that only surfaces under certain conditions---or any other of the myriad hurdles any one of us might live with on a daily basis. Perhaps ALL of us have some imperfection or another that we don't even realize we have adapted to because we have not been sufficiently blocked by it to pay attention?

I also noticed again how fruitless and ignorant it is to judge someone who is slower than we are---someone who struggles to do what we find easy.  We are such a judgy species!  What does the judging accomplish? Are we trying to shame them into better functioning?

I often judge myself when I am struggling to function.  It is my number-one, go-to response with myself.  "If I am hard on myself, I will try harder."  I use a stick, not a carrot. I know better, yet I still do it.

This capitalistic, "just try harder and go faster and be better" society urges me in more ways than I can count to earn more, strive more, learn more, "succeed" more, WANT more, have more. Though I know better---I truly do---I get caught again and again in this rat race, leaving behind my spiritual practices: meditation, yoga, contemplation, reading, writing, and art, for more shuffling of financial shells, more fear of debt, more running and working and worrying....

Yet I ever must DO THE OPPOSITE THING.

REST.

"But!  But!  But!"

REST.

My redundancies have been removed and removed until I can do very little BUT rest these days, despite the urgent inner voices clamouring about all the ways I am not enough.  My lack of redundancies are forcing me to face my most fearsome of demons: my own imperfection.  Though I know with my whole head that I am lovable just for existing, the message absorbed deep into my being (and that of many others, including, I suspect, a certain 5 year old that is running the country) is that I am not good enough, and must keep doing and achieving MORE to ...

...what?

Finally be lovable?  Finally be worthy?

Perhaps ... finally to escape the cruel and relentless voices of that inner demon.

That inner demon is the stick, the CLUB, the BASEBALL BAT WITH SPIKES behind us.

Meditation and compassion and the intentional side-stepping of fear and worry in order to see clearly is the carrot, the platter, the BANQUET calling us forward.

When I practice spiritual self care, the whole world changes.  My perspective changes.  My sense of ease expands.  My creativity in problem solving multiplies. My ability to transcend and find work-arounds for spiritual barriers grows and unfolds.

An abundance of paths to my heart's true desire are unveiled where before there had only been great walls. The spiritual "redundancies" abound.

But keeping my eyes clear requires continuously returning to my spiritual practices, even when the demon behind is screaming at me.  Simply getting onto my yoga mat or picking up my pen has become part of my spiritual practice, for it feels like work!  Why do I forget and resist so persistently?

For today, I remember.  For today I am grateful for the illnesses---or lack of worldly redundancies---that point me to my spiritual practices.  I forgive my forgetting.  I rejoice when I find myself again.

"No matter how much I get done, or is left undone, at the end of the day
I AM ENOUGH."

-Brene Brown

I'll see you on the mat.

Why Are You Here? sermon March 8 2015

 “Why Are You Here?”

Rev. Alison Longstaff, March 8, 2015

Bath Church of the New Jerusalem
1 Kings 19:4,9-13; John 1: 35-38; HS 2693

 What brings you to this spot on this day?  Are you here from habit?  Are you here with deep intention?  Did you wander in?  Perhaps you don’t even know why you are here?  Perhaps something just impelled you to come—something you can’t describe?  Maybe you were mildly curious what happens in this church?  Or are you here because of some commitment to yourself and your spiritual development?  There could be as many reasons as there are people in this room.

So let’s start with why I am here.  The most shallow reason is that it is my job to be here. It is part of my contract to lead worship and deliver a Swedenborgian message each Sunday in this building. 

An even deeper truth is that I just love Swedenborgian theology.  I have been steeped in it from the cradle, and it makes my life immensely richer, more comforting, and more blessed.  But perhaps the deepest truth is that I am on a spiritual journey just like everyone else in this room.  And I need spiritual support and spiritual community just like everyone else.  I would be here anyway, even if I wasn't preaching.

I do believe, for what it is worth, that we were each meant to be here today.  To be here.  Today.

“What are you doing here, Elijah?”

Emanuel Swedenborg was a man who was constantly searching for the deepest truth.  He knew that there was something underlying the outside face of the Bible, the same way there is always a lot going on behind and underneath what the world sees of you and me.  There is what we wear and what we say and how we act and what the camera sees; but there is always so much underneath.  So much that can be quite different from what the world sees.  Did you know that Mother Theresa was depressed a great portion of her life? I wouldn't have known that if someone didn't tell me.  There is so much that we don't see.

So much that we don’t see—within the Bible, within each other, within our own selves—at least, not without help.  Swedenborgianism encourages us always to look deeper; to ask ourselves what is going on inside—inside the Bible, and inside you and me—within our thoughts and feelings. 

Whoever first said or wrote “Know thyself” was a Swedenborgian (well, inside, anyway).

Because the truth will make you free. 

So when I ask you, “Why are you here?  I’m meaning it on every level, but especially the deeper ones.  Why you are here? 

In our Hebrew Bible reading, God asks Elijah not once, but twice, “Elijah, what are you doing here?”

In the Bible, when God asks a question, it represents an encounter with God. God calls us to observe ourselves in a deeper way—which is often what happens when God draws near.   It represents a moment of self-reflection.  Think of all those times when you were a kid just goofing around, and then some adults drew near, and suddenly you looked at what you were doing a little differently.  You paid attention in a new way.

God’s presence calls us back to ourselves, back to our sense of connection and our sense of meaning and purpose.  God calls us back to our intentions and dreams, back from distractions and digressions, back to our intended path.

Elijah was running for his life when God asked him what he was doing.  Elijah was exhausted and discouraged and felt out of options.  When God asked him, “What are you doing here, Elijah?” the first things out of Elijah’s mouth was discouragement.  Elijah had done everything right, and everything that had been asked of him.  He had worked hard for the Lord, bringing God’s message to the people.  And for his efforts King Ahab and Queen Jezebel have ordered him killed.

Elijah is in a deep spiritual crisis. This crisis calls him back to his center the same way many of our extreme life experiences can call us home to our true center.  Elijah’s crisis invites an intimate encounter with the Divine the same way a profound life crisis can call you and me back to what matters most in life. 

Up to this point, Elijah was on the run.  Just like Elijah, we can spend a lot of our time and energy running from the things we don’t want to face—the things we think will “kill” us—be it doing our taxes, or having that hard conversation with a loved one, or trying to make amends with that person we have harmed, or facing some other personal demon…

But we can only run so far.  Eventually exhaustion will force us to face that thing from which we run.  God—Life itself—continues to call us to emerge from our hiding places the same way the womb contracts to push us out into a bigger reality.  We will repeatedly be called to face those things that are blocking our growth until we are ready to face them. The arc of spiritual growth, the hero’s journey, regeneration—call it what you will—moves inexorably along like the seasons, and like the birth process itself. The call to new spiritual birth comes again and again like the return of spring.  If we refuse one opportunity, there will be another and another until we are ready.

In Elijah’s case, he was running from despair and fear of death.  He had to name these things and face them in order to be ready for God to help him move beyond them.  In the meantime, God provided food, safety, and rest; all the while calling him to wake up—to pay attention.  We, too, must become more self-aware to grow.  We do this through self-observation, self-reflection, and a return to our created purpose.  We can do this through prayer, reading sacred Scripture, or meditation in one of its many forms.  Indeed, we invite spiritual growth by attending a place of worship on Sundays.  Greater self-awareness is not always comfortable, but it is always rewarding.

Especially when fear and despair haunt us, God’s question, “What are you doing here?” invites us to name and face the things from which we run.  Simply naming what we fear gives us power over them, or rather, it invites God’s power over them.  God always has the power to defeat any demon, but we forget that again and again.  We get stuck in the belief that we are all alone in our battle and it is all up to us.  God always knows what troubles us, but waits for us to ask for help, because it helps us to speak, to name, and to ask for help.  It helps us to remember that we deserve help, no matter what we've done.

Elijah believed he was a failure at this point in the story.  However, when Elijah was able to name his despair before God, Elijah brought God back into the equation.  Once God is invited to help, we not only survive the battle, but we will thrive beyond it, no matter how scary things look at the time.

We humans, and North Americans perhaps in particular with our strong valuation of individualism, resist at every turn any realization of how dependent we really are on God and on each other. We love taking pride in our might and power and competence.  We love thinking that we don’t need anyone. It is so much more comfortable not to need help—to be self-reliant! The problem is, this illusion of our own strength and competence stands between us and the truth.  We could neither think, nor breathe, nor move without God’s life and love flowing through us.  Accepting that is one of the first steps toward happiness.  We started out utterly helpless and we will end that way. 

And “being invulnerable” is not why we are here.

We are not here to become powerful or “be safe.”  We are not here to be secure.  We are not here to accrue wealth or to be the best or be the most impenetrable. 

We are here to become as wise and compassionate as we possibly can.  We are here to have joy and to have it more abundantly, which comes, not through greater wealth or greater security, but through greater inner wealth  which is personal wisdom, and greater inner security which comes from compassion, vulnerability, and service.  We are here to learn and grow and help each other.  “Whoever wants to be great among you must be as the servant.” (Mark 10:43)

No matter what your journey has been like up to this point, stop just for a moment.  Breathe in this moment.  Take a look at yourself and ask yourself why you are here.  Ask it on every level.  Feel God standing next to you, and gaze with curiosity and compassion at your life.  What has your dream for your life been up to this point?  Is it worthy?  Will it lead you to genuine happiness, or is it calling you to a false security? 

Whether you feel purposeful or lost, energized or exhausted, or somewhere in the middle, remember that the God of all love and wisdom stands ready to help.  You are here to be birthed into an ever better future.  You can face that thing from which you run, and be transformed by the experience.

“What are you doing here, Elijah?”

Whether you have been coming a long time or are relatively new here today, you are welcome to be here.  Right here. Right now.  Stay here, and get to know yourself better.  Stay here, and get to know God better.  And if you go, go in peace, and with God’s blessing.

Amen.

Originally preached February 3^rd, 2013, Wayfarer’s Chapel, California. Revised almost beyond recognition.

The Readings:

1 Kings 19 4, 9-13  But [Elijah] went a day’s journey into the wilderness, and came and sat down under a broom tree. And he prayed that he might die, and said, “It is enough! Now, Lord, take my life, for I am no better than my fathers!”

And there he went into a cave, and spent the night in that place; and behold, the word of the Lord came to him, and He said to him, “What are you doing here, Elijah?”

So he said, “I have been very zealous for the Lord God of hosts; for the children of Israel have forsaken Your covenant, torn down Your altars, and killed Your prophets with the sword. I alone am left; and they seek to take my life.”

Then He said, “Go out, and stand on the mountain before the Lord.” And behold, the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind tore into the mountains and broke the rocks in pieces before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind; and after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake; and after the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire; and after the fire a still small voice.

So it was, when Elijah heard it, that he wrapped his face in his mantle and went out and stood in the entrance of the cave. Suddenly a voice came to him, and said, “What are you doing here, Elijah?”

John 1:35-39

The following day John was again standing with two of his disciples. As Jesus walked by, John looked at him and declared, “Look! There is the Lamb of God!” When John’s two disciples heard this, they followed Jesus.

Jesus looked around and saw them following. “What do you want?” he asked them.

They replied, “Rabbi” (which means “Teacher”), “where are you staying?”

“Come and see,” he said. It was about four o’clock in the afternoon when they went with him to the place where he was staying, and they remained with him the rest of the day.

Heavenly Secrets 2693

In the literal sense of the Word the Lord is asking a question, but in the internal sense it means that the Lord already perceives everything we think and feel in infinite detail.  We read in various places in the Word of people being questioned about their state. But they are questioned for the reason that each person believes that they are all alone in their thoughts and feelings. Besides, many are helped by being able to express their feelings, which usually does them good.