Freedom Manifesto

The following is the result of an assignment for my yoga certification. Publishing it was encouraged, so here it is:

Alison Moore’s Freedom Manifesto

My desire for my life going forward is curiosity, compassion and a belief in transformation through creativity and play. I desire this to be my underlying resting state.

FREEDOM comes when I feel that I have choices and agency---when I feel I can change things that don’t work, and improve conditions that are not optimal. In the yogic principle of the union of opposites, the balancing attitude that I desire to cultivate is the simple acceptance of “what is.” These two attitudes may seem opposite (acceptance of what is vs desire for change), and yet I believe a healthy, balanced union of these two will bring me the greatest joy and serenity going forward.

“Acceptance of what is” shows up in compassionate non-judgment of what my body is able to do each day. Whether I experience a “good” practice full of obvious progress and feelings of strength and sweetness, or I navigate a “bad” practice because my energy is low and my asanas appear regressed, I wish to be peacefully present to what is. I wish to carry into each practice the knowledge that every single practice matters, and that the way I treat myself in a practice is the measure of the success of the practice, not how far I could extend or contract in a given asana.

Now, when I see something about myself that I want to change, I desire to notice it with curiosity and serenity. I want to say, “Huh. Interesting!” I want to have the willingness to approach the area that needs work with compassion and optimism and a sense of possibility. Previously I approached it with shame and the fear of what everyone else “must” think of me. My impulse was to hide the shortcoming or failure as quickly as possible. I do not wish to operate from fear of judgment or shame or a desire to hide anymore.

I want to continue to develop PERSPECTIVE or a “long view” which will keep me serene in the face of new challenges. Each challenge in the past has been surmounted, no matter how insurmountable each seemed at the time. When I remember this, I can face new challenges with more curiosity and creativity, and less fearful projections of “certain failure” and dire outcomes. “I got through those things and I can get through this.”

In relationships, I desire to be as authentic and “whole” as possible in each moment. This means I desire to own every piece of my life, and to tell the truth about my experiences with compassion and honesty. “The truth” is never harsh or unkind. It is neutral. The harsh or unkind comes when I attach blame or judgment or shame.  A whole lot of my work to this point has been in becoming free of extensive inner self-abuse and fearful thinking.  As these decrease, new space for honesty, clarity and compassion opens up.

As a speaker and teacher, I desire to lead from my vulnerability. I believe that this makes a space for truthful vulnerability in others. I wish to create SAFE spaces, which invite radical honesty and compassion and self-ownership in students and clients. My dream is that I will invite to these qualities and teach about these qualities and model these qualities as naturally as breathing. The goal of this shared vulnerability and mutual respect is REST.

To rest from hiding. To rest from pretending. To rest from struggling. To be FREE.

What would Brene Brown do?

When I show up with compassion and authenticity and a long perspective, life becomes lighter and easier. I am more patient and laugh more easily.

Authenticity is my freedom.  May I remain open to continuing the work gently and steadily that I might ever move into greater and greater authenticity.

January 13, 2018

The Golden Arrow, or How Our Poverty Can Reveal Our Richness

My reflections today spring from a Henry Nouwen quote:
‎
"How can we embrace poverty as a way to God when everyone around us wants to become rich? Poverty has many forms. We have to ask ourselves: 'What is my poverty?' Is it lack of money, lack of emotional stability, lack of a loving partner, lack of security, lack of safety, lack of self-confidence? Each human being has a place of poverty. That's the place where God wants to dwell! 'How blessed are the poor,' Jesus says (Matthew 5:3). This means that our blessing is hidden in our poverty.We are so inclined to cover up our poverty and ignore it that we often miss the opportunity to discover God, who dwells in it. Let's dare to see our poverty as the land where our treasure is hidden." ~ Henri J.M. Nouwen

In my youth and early adult years I was lucky enough to have repeated exposure to safe places to express and be my whole self, with all my vulnerabilities and insecurities, without shaming or correcting---just unconditional support.  Not only was every part of my journey accepted and affirmed, but the others in the group also showed up with their whole selves.  Yes, there were sometimes those who withheld and hid, but they were accepted even in their hiding.  And I saw how much they missed out on the beauty and strength and openness life offers when we can be our whole selves with each other without shame.  Therein lies sacredness.  Therein lies richness and great beauty.

What were these spaces?  They were intentional small groups. I have found them in a church camp in the woods, in a specialty counselling course in a practitioner's office, and in 12 step meetings.  That level of sacred safety has happened even in book clubs (it depends a great deal on the leadership).  In fact, I believe it occurs spontaneously in every small group that follows certain protocols.

As the Nouwen quote above says, we tend to run from such vulnerability in this culture. It feels counter-intuitive. Instead, we hide our weaknesses even from ourselves, so uncomfortable can it be to look at our own poverty, let alone know that others see it too.

But my most sacred encounters have come through and only through following the thread of the pain and looking with honesty at the wound or lack that is discovered.  In fact, it is not the weakness or "sin" that is ever the problem, it is the denial of it and the hiding of it, the minimizing and explaining away of it that is the real problem.    Hiding and covering up the source of the disease only compounds the disease.  No problem can be addressed, no wound cleaned and bandaged, no broken connection mended if all the energy is spent on covering it up.

But it is no wonder we hide and continue to try to project an image of stability and security to the world. This culture praises "success" and blames and shames "failure." Who would want to invite that blaming and shaming?

There is a third way.  I have seen it and felt it and lived it.

There can be strength revealed when admitting weakness.  It is a sign of great inner integrity to own ones part in failures.  But most of all, I am here to testify that when I do these things in a community of others who do these things, I feel more connected to, cared for, and compassionately delighted with my fellow human beings.  I feel hope, not despair.

In contrast, the culture of competition in appearing successful combined with criticism of those who are struggling only brings out my worst.  I become more critical, more afraid, and more desperate to hide my own weaknesses. It is a house of cards, and no fun. And it is a false dream, because no one is perfect.

So today I choose again for honest vulnerability, no matter who is telling me that that is a bad idea. I have experienced differently.  I know which path leads me to my better self.

If you want to be part of such a sacred experience and learn how to create such a safe place for others (and live in the Kitchener-Waterloo region of Ontario) contact me at rangerally@rogers.com.  I will be leading and teaching these things over the summer.

With thanks to Mark Andrew Alward of the The Loving Room Blog for sharing this Nouwen quote this morning.  http://markandrewalward.blogspot.com/ 

Be the love that you are

Alison